My ex-husband died. My kids are devistated. I’m sad.
His evil whore of a mother is banning my children from going to his funeral.
Who does that?
My ex-husband died. My kids are devistated. I’m sad.
His evil whore of a mother is banning my children from going to his funeral.
Who does that?
It’s no joke when I say I truly work my ass off. And I’m not tootin my own horn when I say I’m one bad ass woman. I’ll not bore you with the details.
Anyway, since I’m so bad-ass, I decided to take the evening and chill like I like to chill when I found out nobody else was home. The boy is at work… the man is with his amigo chasing truck parts around the greater southeastern region…
What to do ??
Pop the cork out of a nice bottle of merlot, crank on the karaoke maker and sing, then retreat to a bubble bath. Most relaxing of plans for me personally.
So, the wine is breathing and I’m sipping a little, rockin some Rod Stewart when the power flickered a couple of times and POOF….. no music, no lights, no AIR CONDITIONING…. It’s like 980 degrees up in here and the last thing I want to do is drink merlot (it gives me hot flashes) or take a hot bubble bath (more heat stroke)…
I suppose I’ll go sit outside in the shade where its only a humid 100 degrees or so and stare at my dogs. Can’t take my laptop with since the battery says 66%, which translates into about 8 minutes in real life.
Damn the luck.
I’m not sure. It might just be me. But, bathroom etiquette has taken a dive right down the bowl.
Why exactly can’t people put a new roll of toilet paper on the little toilet paper holder when the roll is empty? Seriously, it’s within reach. Go ahead, throw that empty little cardboard whirlie in the trash and put a nice new fluffy roll on there. It seems like I’m always going in there (at home, at work, at my friend’s, at my Dad’s place) to an empty roll… Conspiracy?
Yet another poo peave near and dear to my fart is the smell of Febreeze or any other fake flowery scent. Not that those roses in a can are completely useless. But, is it really necessary to spray half a can of it after taking a crap? Do folks really think that it helps the stink? Trust me, it does not.
This seems to be more of a chick thing than a guy thing… I mean, guys really don’t give a crap if a green fog follows them from the potty room… But women… Good Lord. For some reason when a girl comes out after making a poo, it’s not just the poo smell… it’s rose covered poo. For the love of God, please, if you must spray, make it a quick burst of air fresh… not the whole can.
Lastly, and this is a direct command to my step-son, PLEASE close the damn door when you take a wiz. I’m all the way down the hall, with the TV blaring some brilliant show on History or Discovery or someother nerdy network… and I can still hear you pissin. What’s with that? Why can’t you take the .22 seconds that it takes to close the door before you whip it out and let it fly? Really.
Ahhh, a day in the bang ’em up world of property management. I swear, this last year has been the most up ‘n down year of my meager existence.
To update anybody who might have missed me in the last three or so years, I got hitched, lost my job, lost another job and have been on a total rollercoaster and trying to figure out who the hell I really am at forty.
Folks, I have finally figured this out. I’m a bookkeeper.
A bookkeeper for a local property management company.
I know, I know. Last time I blogged about my job… I got fired for being snide and bitchy. Lesson learned. The Man won that battle. However, if I don’t find an outlet for all of my professional frustration, I’ll just explode.
Seriously, if pissed off restaurant servers can vent on how they get back at horrible patrons, I can surely tell some of the funnies that go during my day to day at this job. It freakin hilarious.
Most of my day is consumed with poking payments and bills into a computer. Not so difficult, right? Right.
But on occassion, my presence is requested at a Board meeting. I know, fun, huh? Right.
Alls I can say, is if I had to do it all over again, I’d be born rich and have nothing to do but be a Board Member. If for nothing more than just go mess with my neighbors. But, presently, I’m not rich. I work for the rich… see where I’m going?
So, I smoke. Alot.
Life has driven me to bad habits in the last couple of year. I have foud that the occassional night of drinking a butt load of beer is good for my psyche. The downside to drinking obscene amounts of beer is that I smoke way too much.
Since the last big bit of crap I got for my sarcasm and anxt, I have been pretty much keeping my opinion and complaints about life to myself…
Sometimes, venting (even if it’s just to blow off steam and really means nothing to anyone but me) can backfire… literally.
Whatever. I’m just as full of sarcasm and anxt and pretty much miserable with life in this house. All I can say is choose carefully before you make a big, fat, wrong life choice like getting married.
I mean there are ALOT of factors involved in compatibility, and people should really pay attention to those factors. Unlike yours truly.
TOLERATION OF THE SPOUSE’S SPAWNS.
I can’t tolerate his daughter. She is horrible. She won’t work and try to support herself. She moves out. She moves back in. She moves out. She moves back in. She steals from us, and when I say steal, she wiped him out. She lies and denies. She’s lazy.
And at this point, toleration isn’t anything I can make myself feel. I look over at her and I get angry. I hear her voice and I cringe. I see her eating and it makes me sick. That’s all the girl does is eat, sit, sleep and run the roads. God forbid she get a job. God forbid she try to buy her own shampoo, soap, hair dryer.
Why work when Daddy will keep letting her go in my room and use my things.
TRUE COMMONALITIES… NOT FAKE ONES
When me & Big T were just dating, he played himself to be a real family man. He played himself off as someone who enjoys being around friends and interacting with people. Yah, not so much.
It is so easy for someone to fake someone else out when they aren’t together 24/7. This man doesn’t do anything. Nothing. He sits on the couch and smokes cigarettes.
Chain smoker. Now, don’t get me wrong. I smoke. But it’s a pack every couple of days. Sometimes less. This man goes through a carton of smokes in three or four days. He’s not the healthiest person to begin with, but at this point, his health is his problem. He doesn’t care, why should I? But, my house SMELLS SO BAD. And it’s impossible to get the stink out.
He is lazy as his daughter and son. He sits all day and the stupid dogs, which nobody wants to take out when I’m not home, apparently pee somewhere in this house. I don’t see it, but I can smell it and it disgusts me.
I’m a neat freak and there is no way for me to live the way I want to in this house. I work 55 or more hours a week. None of these people that live in this house work.. or do house work. I come home to dirty dishes pile high in the sink. I come home to cook after I clean the kitchen and then I clean it again. I have to dust and vacuum. I have to scrub the toilets. God forbid any of them do anything around here.
SEX – What the hell is that? After four years of marriage, I do believe I could be certified as a re-confirmed virgin, and that my friends isn’t by choice.
What to do??
I’ve spent the last couple of years not writing and gaining weight. Shit happens.
I’ve done a lot of self-analyzing and a lot of wondering. It seems like I do that on a daily basis.
I went under the assumption that when one reaches four/tenths of a century in age, one would have a clue as to who one really is… not…
So, all this means that I’ve figured it out. You Know You Need To Put Down the Pizza & Beer When…
1.Your belly juts out farther than your saggin boobs do…
2. You have fat pooches blobbin out in all the wrong places…
3. When you’re sittin on the couch and you’re restin your arms on your gut…
4. you wear leggings you look like a cream puff with legs…
5. there’s a fat roll resting snuggly against your neck & you can’t even think where to start in looking for your cheekbones…
6. you spend your time avoiding Kodak moments but if & when the shutter bug does find you, you run to find something or someone to stand behind…
7. you have to adjust your fat rolls in order to sit any kind of comfortable… and sitting like a lady??? No…
8. you have the desire, but not the breath or energy, to sing a Go-Go’s song on the karaoke anymore…
9. the inkling of a thought of dancing to a song you could dance too even just a few short years ago makes your chest start to hurt…911… hello…
10. you have a whole trunk load of clothes you bought the last time you shrank… only problem is that you gave all your fat clothes away… Doh!
In keeping with my Pitty Party attitude, I’d like to compose a list of people who’s laps I’d love to accidentally spill a nice cup of hot tea in.
#1 – The asshat who went and changed wordpress.
WTF?? It was working just fine.
I knew where all the little buttons were.
It took me about 30 minutes to figure out how to save a draft and not publish this perfect post before it was full of sarcasm.
#2 – My step-son.
Why?? WHY?? Why is it every damn time I go out of town for a few days…
*that his dishes sit in the sink crusting with burnt, canned chili
*that his room seems to smell more like a kennel than when I left.
*that his chores never seem to get accomplished timely?
#3 – Big T.
Enough moping around already for fuck sake.
Put on your big boy shorts and find something to do.
When you hurt, take a pain pill. That’s why you have them.
Quit thinking I’m mad at you all the damn time.
I’m not mad at you, I’m just sick of you drag assing around feeling sorry for yourself.
#4 – The dork at Taco Bell who refuses to give me enough friggin mild sauce to make my bean burrito tasty.
#5 – Christmas shoppers at the WalMart who are in a foul ass mood to be Christmas shopping… collectively, the whole tea pot in all their laps.
Do like me, don’t shop for Christmas if it pisses you off so much!
Ok, there are way too many to list. So, let’s move on.
I spent the last 3 days in Huntsville at a distributor meeting…
I resigned my position as CFO as whoever was doing all the financial bullshit before me was a complete moron and nothing is as it seems… actually it is.
It’s in the shitter and I’m not about to take responsibility for it.
I’ll go back to my cushy little, high paying sales position… travel and eat in tasty places.
So, I still have a job. Not the same job, but a job none-the-less.
I managed to talk to the Big Guy, my main boss who flew in for a Board Meeting before the meeting so he’d not be blind-sided and pissed.
The Board Meeting in which I was set to resign… he had to know.
I told him in theory there is a big fucking difference in a bookkeeper and an accountant… and I just ain’t no accountant.
I can’t do magic with numbers…
unless it’s spending money… I can make that shit disappear.
Anyway… I ended up with a sweet chunk of real estate for my territory.
Tennessee, Kentucky, Virginia, North & South Carolina, Georgia, Florida, Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana, and Arkansas.
Yah. I’ll be a tired bitch from all the road rage in my future.
So, in a nutshell (too late), this week saw one job (the job I loved dearly) disappear, open up to me a new job. And I only took a $700 a year cut in pay.
Go. Me.
The Redneck turned White Collar (albeit temporarily) is back to the Redneck.
I think I’ll call it Pink Collar.
I’ll be around to give wet, slobbery love to all y’all over the weekend!
Today, I watched my desk get taken away never to be seen again.
Today, I emptied the trashcans and took it all away to the dumpster.
Today, I threw the last of the last little office items into the bed of my truck.
Today, I vacuumed my way out of the office.
Today, I turned off the lights and locked the door.
Today, I walked down the way and turned the keys into the landlord.
Today, I watched the last nearly nine years of my life come to an abrupt end.
I’m an emotional heap of whining mess.
I cried, knowing my job will never be the same as it has been.
I will now be in a new part of the company, as the southeast sales manager.
I suppose I should be happy that I still have a job after this reorganization/merge happened, because so many people are without jobs right now.
Like I said… I’m being a baby today. I’m whining. I’m crying. I’m scared of the unknown.
Big T feels like shit, so he’s not in any condition to cheer me up. Wish he’d crack a joke or fart or something.
Thanksgiving was as usual in our family.
We cooked wayyyy too much, and subsequently ate wayyyy to much.
I’m sure I consumed no less than a gazillion calories and didn’t even make it to the pies and stuff.
It’s Saturday now and I’m still keeping my mits out of the pudding cake. I just don’t think I can take it.
Anyhooooo, E Chuod over at Oh, Was That the Line?
did a lil post naming thing that he could do without…. National Thanks For Nothing Day….
Of course I’m always naming off things I could do without for the rest of my life, but I figured I jack the idea, and give a little link lovin at the same time…
So without further ado, let’s get to listin those things I could go the rest of my life without, mmk?
I’m sure I could go on all day, but I’m depressing myself and I have a shit load of stuff to do.
Go and visit some these guys…
Joe Cool – A karaoke crooner who loves his chica and family and is on my list of folks to invade one day.
What I Got So Far – This guy is an insomniac, sarcastic and full of crap. I love it and I’m totally addicted.
Confessions of a Dumb, White Guy – Thanksgiving plans with the Hoff.
Fracas – Sick, sick woman pimping food porn.