Scorched Dicks, Resignations &Pink Collars

In keeping with my Pitty Party attitude, I’d like to compose a list of people who’s laps I’d love to accidentally spill a nice cup of hot tea in.

#1 –  The asshat who went and changed wordpress.

WTF??  It was working just fine.

I knew where all the little buttons were.

It took me about 30 minutes to figure out how to save a draft and not publish this perfect post before it was full of sarcasm.

#2 – My step-son.

Why??  WHY??  Why is it every damn time I go out of town for a few days…

*that his dishes sit in the sink crusting with burnt, canned chili

*that his room seems to smell more like a kennel than when I left.

*that his chores never seem to get accomplished timely?

#3 – Big T.

Enough moping around already for fuck sake.

Put on your big boy shorts and find something to do.

When you hurt, take a pain pill.  That’s why you have them.

Quit thinking I’m mad at you all the damn time.

I’m not mad at you, I’m just sick of you drag assing around feeling sorry for yourself.

#4 – The dork at Taco Bell who refuses to give me enough friggin mild sauce to make my bean burrito tasty.

#5 – Christmas shoppers at the WalMart who are in a foul ass mood to be Christmas shopping… collectively, the whole tea pot in all their laps.

Do like me, don’t shop for Christmas if it pisses you off so much!

Ok, there are way too many to list.  So, let’s move on.

I spent the last 3 days in Huntsville at a distributor meeting…

I resigned my position as CFO as whoever was doing all the financial bullshit before me was a complete moron and nothing is as it seems… actually it is.

It’s in the shitter and I’m not about to take responsibility for it.

I’ll go back to my cushy little, high paying sales position… travel and eat in tasty places.

So, I still have a job.  Not the same job, but a job none-the-less.

I managed to talk to the Big Guy, my main boss who flew in for a Board Meeting before the meeting so he’d not be blind-sided and pissed.

The Board Meeting in which I was set to resign…  he had to know.

I told him in theory there is a big fucking difference in a bookkeeper and an accountant… and I just ain’t no accountant.

I can’t do magic with numbers…

unless it’s spending money… I can make that shit disappear.

Anyway… I ended up with a sweet chunk of real estate for my territory.

Tennessee, Kentucky, Virginia, North & South Carolina, Georgia, Florida, Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana, and Arkansas.

Yah.  I’ll be a tired bitch from all the road rage in my future.

So, in a nutshell (too late), this week saw one job (the job I loved dearly) disappear, open up to me a new job.  And I only took a $700 a year cut in pay.

Go. Me.

The Redneck turned White Collar (albeit temporarily) is back to the Redneck.

I think I’ll call it Pink Collar.

I’ll be around to give wet, slobbery love to all y’all over the weekend!


16 Responses to “Scorched Dicks, Resignations &Pink Collars”

  1. whatigotsofar Says:

    The difference between bookkeeper and accountant in theory is great, but in practice, it’s that degree the accountants have framed so that they may stare at it with awe.

  2. I’m pissed at the dork from Taco Bell who thinks four measly shreds of cheese on a taco is acceptable. Misers!!!

  3. Well at least everything worked out pretty well for ya.

    Hey did you say “Arkansas?”

    And, I’ve been meaning to ask you about this .. um …

    Lane Kiffin? Really? That was a strange hire for the Vols.

  4. I will support you no matter WHAT shit gets thrown your way! In fact….all those stoooooooopid Walmart people & annoying family members better WATCH OUT!!!!!!!!


  5. White collar, Pink collar even a Blue collar doesn’t matter a REDNECK IS A REDNECK no matter what ya cover it with.

    Cool Beans the way ya handled the situation & came out smellin like a redne…uh Rose. Cheers to ya darlin. 😉

  6. have a great weekend..

  7. It’s good that you managed to get out of something that wasn’t working and still retain your sanity. Or insanity. Or something.

    Have a good weekend!

  8. And tat is why we don’t go to Wal-Mart.

  9. Oh, the hot tea is just too tempting. I better not get started. 😉 Yay you for staying employed! That’s something these days. 🙂

  10. Well yadda yadda yadda I’m fine with your post but why in the hell you didn’t request Arizona to be part of your freaking territory. lol A little wishful thinking here. Well, I hope you catcha the Christmas Spirit because having it rocks.

  11. I’m thinking everything is cool then?

    And screw Wal Mart shoppers!

  12. Just make sure you clean up after. My wife can smell when I come home after wet, slobbery love.

  13. I am with you on the Walmart Christmas shoppers…it’s amazing.
    I hope this weekend goes much better for you hon!! xoxo

  14. As far as #4 goes, Don’t be mad at the dork. There’s NOT ENOUGH friggin mild sauce on the planet to make those Taco Bell bean burritos tasty.

  15. Good for you for making that job change. You’ll be much happier.

  16. Glad you’re back to doing what you love! What is it you sell anyways?

    I always find people to be MORE friendly at stores during the xmas season, but then again I DO NOT venture into Walmart. You just can’t pay me enough to endure those people. I spent about 3 hours in Kohls on Friday (with a raging sinus headache) and the lines were crazy but moved fast.

    You need to shove that foot up Big T and the stepson’s ass !

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