Pizza & Beer

I’ve spent the last couple of years not writing and gaining weight. Shit happens. 

I’ve done a lot of self-analyzing and a lot of wondering.  It seems like I do that on a daily basis. 

I went under the assumption that when one reaches four/tenths of a century in age, one would have a clue as to who one really is… not…

So, all this means that I’ve figured it out.  You Know You Need To Put Down the Pizza & Beer When…

 1.Your belly juts out farther than your saggin boobs do…

2. You have fat pooches blobbin out in all the wrong places…

3. When you’re sittin on the couch and you’re restin your arms on your gut…

4. you wear leggings you look like a cream puff with legs…

5. there’s a fat roll resting snuggly against your neck & you can’t even think where to start in looking for your cheekbones…

6. you spend your time avoiding Kodak moments but if & when the shutter bug does find you, you run to find something or someone to stand behind…

7. you have to adjust your fat rolls in order to sit any kind of comfortable… and sitting like a lady???  No…

8. you have the desire, but not the breath or energy, to sing a Go-Go’s song on the karaoke anymore…

9. the inkling of a thought of dancing to a song you could dance too even just a few short years ago makes your chest start to hurt…911… hello…

10. you have a whole trunk load of clothes you bought the last time you shrank… only problem is that you gave all your fat clothes away… Doh!

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6 Responses to “Pizza & Beer”

  1. Ugh! And the holidays are upon us. I’ll be happy to just maintain at this point. 😉

  2. Knowing who you are at 40??? LOL…. I’m hitting 42 and don’t have a freaken clue who I am or what I want to be when I grow up.

  3. That’s it I am dieting. lol Hello diva!

  4. I just reached the four/tenths of a century in age myself and I am clueless about what I am going to do with my life. It would be nice if I had somewhat of an idea. I enjoyed your list and I hope it is not as bad as you wrote. Take care and have a great weekend.

  5. Nice to see you back at the helm, and no worries you’ll be who you want when you get there, I’m a tad older and I still play with blocks ! 😉 Enjoy the Season !!

  6. Happy New Year!! Hope all is well.

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