Sore Boobs, Bloating and Smiting the Bitch Who Changed Tampons
I am writing to you today as you are the godess of menstruation and I feel you are playing games with me.
Not that you haven’t played games with millions of women throughout the centuries, but come on…. can’t you give me a break here.
I’m asking that you put the lightning rod away and quit giving me hot flashes.
Can’t you find some way to give men cramps, just once. So they will understand how uncomfortable they are???
My boobs hurt. I need to compress them. Why????? Oh why????
And, you have my permission to smite the corporate asshat that changed Tampax tampons. Why did they go and try to make them better? Now they are even more uncomfortable than they ever were.
It will be greatly appreciated if you could please find a way to give me a good night sleep. I mean what does the fact that I’m not a baby oven anymore have to do with me not sleeping? Get my point?
The only cool thing is that since I’ve always been a bitch, the moodswings don’t seem so bad. At least not to me. I’m using it as my personal excuse to break bitch on everybody who crosses my path.
I just blame you for the anxiety and irritability.