Geriatrics, Drunken Germans & Other Asshats on the Road


Where’s the Beef??

Florida is finally, finally, cracking down on elderly drivers by allowing 80-and-older drivers to renew their licenses for just six years instead of eight!

I’m honestly not making light of this one.  My Grandpa, who is well past 80 still drives.  He scares the shit out of me.  I was following him on the I-75 one day and he nearly rolled up under a FedEx truck and didn’t realize it until I laid on the horn.  Scared the shit outta me.

One More Round for Me Buddies!

The governor of Bavaria, promoting  Oktoberfest, said a lot of Germans could drain one of those 2-liter bottles full of beer and still be OK to drive . . . . .

All I can say about that is TSK, TSK, TSK.  I was at Oktoberfest last year and could barely walk a straight line back to my hotel room less than a mile away.  And they want to let those agressive-as-hell folks on the road after a two liter????  Dayum.

Gimme Three Steps.

A pedestrian got pissed off at a driver who had driven too close to him.  The pedestrian, one Cornell Prince, got so fired up that he took out his gun and tried to unload on the car. Except that the asshole missed, instead hitting a 2-year-old girl and her grandmother. Both victims are in stable condition.

Now, if you’re gonna be stupid enough to shoot somebody, at least hit the mark.  Personally, I’d rather punch somebody in the mouth.

Ay Captain, Time to Abandon Ship

Forty people were rescued from their vehicles after heavy rains flooded many spots in Houston.

Yah, the water looks pretty high… but me thinks me can make it if I go.real.slow.  Now, in general, Knoxville, Tennessee is not a flood prone zone.  Sure, we have some spots that overflow from time to time when Jesus blesses us with a little rain.  

Now, there’s a little creek that does flood sometimes, up over the road.  But, if a body can see that the crick’s a-risin, why would a body be so stupid as the try to drive through it.  You can see it’s no longer a crick, but a ragin’ river.


20 Responses to “Geriatrics, Drunken Germans & Other Asshats on the Road”

  1. When I lived in San Antonio I used to entertain myself watching all the live video of people being rescued from high water when it rained. What a bunch of dumbasses. haha

  2. What? It’s just a little water, no big deal. The main thing you have to do is make sure the window are up tightly and make sure to give right or way to sharks and whales and ummm oh Yes, don’t forget to drive slowly past any schools of fish.

  3. We get lots of floods around here and there’s always a couple of geniuses who believe they can drive through the high water… Makes for an interesting local evening news program.

  4. You mean to tell me some freaking idiot wanted to end someone’s life just because they drove to close to him? Are you freaking kidding me with that? Geesh!

  5. Nobody, and by nobody, I mean no fucking body is a worse driver than my mom. I went somewhere with her a few years ago and I haven’t been the same since. She passed a car going up a hill because she thought we were still on the freeway when we were on a 2 lane.

    She’s going to kill someone, but it won’t be me because I won’t be riding with her again.

  6. I luv some Oktoberfest…I so miss Germany!! xoxo

  7. “stupid is as stupid does”

  8. Oh yeah, old people on the road scare me too, especially those little old ladies that can’t even see over the steering wheel. Yikes!

  9. I lived in Florida and one time on US 1 Federal Highway an elderly man came to an abrupt stop in the left lane….parked his car in front of me ON the highway as he walked across 2 lanes of oncoming traffic to MAIL a letter…good law….damn good law. He had no clue that my car almost went up his ass.

  10. Those old folks ain’t no joke. Driving in southeast Florida is a fucking nightmare. *Shudder*

  11. Sounds like grandpa had a liter or two himself.

  12. We should go to the MSU vs uofm game in Ann Arbor this weekend….and just punch as many wolverines as we see.

  13. Those Germans….Wonder what their alcohol related death toll is? I’d google it but I’ve had too much to drink. But at least I’m not driving!!

    You saw my last post w/ my experience w/ road rage. Thats the worst I’ve ever been. However, if I lived in Florida w/ the Old Heads I’d probably lose my mind.

  14. But if old people can’t drive how will they get those pocketfuls of hard candy they are always offering me?

  15. Lighten up on the old people.

    If it weren’t for them, who would the creepy nursing home janitors abuse in the wee hours of the night?

    Everyone in life has a purpose.

    Theirs is “unwilling custodial sperm receptacle.”

  16. rantingdiva Says:

    Jay- They are everywhere!! Muchas amusement!

    Ron- Speeding in a school zone… bwaaahahaha

    ETW- I love those news stories!

    Diva- Yah. Sad, huh?

    Mike- I dunno… Grandpa is pretty bad over here.

    PPD- You and me both, Girlie!

    IV- Yout got that right!

    Jen- I work next to an ‘old ladies salon’ trust me, it’s scary!

    King- Now that would have been really bad!

    Mel- I’ll trust you on that one… I’ll avoid retirement communities!

    Dyck- Grandpa may have done it…

    Moe- Yes we should! I already know how the UT/Bama game is gonna go… sad but true… another ass whoopin.

    Vino- You were my inspiration here, babes!

    Narm- Good point.

    Mooooog- You are a sick, sick puppy.

  17. Awww – Just like Chicago…”You’re my Inspiration!” I’m flattered!

  18. people should have to take an intelligence test before getting a drives license…

  19. uh..drivers license…jeez

  20. rantingdiva Says:

    Vino- Oh yes, my dear, copy catting is the most sincere form of flattery 🙂

    Jackie- I agree 12389%

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