Dip Shit, Loda Shit, Giva Shit

This came via MySpace from one of my girl friends.  I laugh every time I read it:

Who is Jack Schitt? The lineage is finally revealed! Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says: “You don’t know Jack Schitt.”

Now you can intellectually handle the situation:

Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt.

Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt.

They had one son, Jack.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt.

The Deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parents objection, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.

After being married for 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced.

Noe Schitt later remarried Ted Sherlock and, because her kids were still living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Shitt Sherlock.




Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a son of nervous disposition, Chicken Schitt.

Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.

The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens Wedding.

The Schitt-Happens children were Daawg, Byrd, Hoarse and Bull.

Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.




So now when someone says “You don’t know Jack Schitt”, You can correct them!

17 Responses to “Dip Shit, Loda Shit, Giva Shit”

  1. Schitt yeah, thanks for the info.

  2. Hmm, sounds like my family tree.


  3. That is an oldie, but a goodie. Still funny!

  4. It’s Friday! Hooray!

    The only problem is that I’ll have to remember the whole thing to be able to correct them, and knowing me I’ll probably mess it up – I’m no good with jokes and things 😉

  5. i’m in deep with the shitz family

  6. That’s a lotta schitt.

  7. HA! Where is Bat Shit? I heard she was craaaazy!

    How do these things start? I get so many of them too..ever wondered if someone is lifting these things off of Blogs?

    I always think that they’re ‘borrowed’ from some blogger who thought,
    “damn thas funnay, this is gunna get me sum hits”
    but by midnight one of his serial lurkers has copied, pasted, put his name on it, and emailed it off…
    to his buddies, cousins, and 100 people in his office and so and so on and so on….

  8. That’s funny as hell!

  9. That Jack sounds like a helluva guy.

  10. Now that I know who Jack Schitt is … Anyone know who Mike Hunt is?
    He gets phone calls at almost every bar I visit.

  11. LMFAO thats hilarious thanks Diva.

  12. I just peed my pants!!!

  13. My real name is Hugh Johnson

  14. It stopped being cute after the second sentence.

  15. SHIT! Could you please make your font BIGGER!!!

    Thank you very much…..xoxoxoxo

  16. I bet 15 to 1 the Shitts are kin to me!!!

  17. this always makes me laugh too.

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