SEX, Excuses & The VOLS

Or lack thereof.

 As I usually do on Friday afternoons here in the office, when it’s quiet and nobody’s around to ask me anything and the UPS guy has come and gone….. I’m surfing the Internetz.

I came across this link that made me say BULL SHIT.  Double BULL SHIT even.

Those of you who ain’t into clickin linkies, I’ll tell ya what it said.

It said (and I quote) “Married Women Hate Sex”.


They do?   I can’t hardly believe that as I am a lover of sex.  And I am married.   That said, I have to admit, my marriage is pretty much sex-less.  Which sucks.  And is not by choice or of my doing.

Anyway, enough of my normal tanget about not getting any… here’s what the “survey” found….

50% of women find sex either depressing, embarrassing or a hassle: We also found out that although 77% of the women claim their sex life is somewhat to very important to them, 54% of married women admit they’re the ones who don’t want to have sex.

Huh?  Sex, depressing?  How the hell can it be depressing if you’re gettin some??  I mean really, I’d take mediocre sex over no sex.

What would women rather do than have sex?
• 24% would rather take a bubble bath.
• 26% would rather read a book.

Come again?  Ok, ok.  I’d rather take a bubble bath if it means I’m gonna get some under the bubbles. But read a book?  Oh hell no.  I can read my romance novels before hand to get my bosom heaving in anticipation of his throbbing manhood.

Also, according to our survey:
• 23% of the women who have sex do it because they love their husbands and want to make him happy.
• 49% of the women have sex because they want it.
• 26% of the women surveyed say their sex lives took a turn for the worst after they had children.

Now, I’ll admit it.  When my kiddies were young and apt to run into the room unannounced, it may have been a slight turn-off.  But, I have never been one to hit it because it makes just him happy, at least that was the situation with the ex. 

According to statistics, living in a sexless marriage is VERY common; however, for some reason, it is still one of the most taboo subjects around.

Taboo my ass.  I bitch, fuss and moan all the time.  I started reading some of this crap I found on the internetz.  I found some interesting facts.

* A sexless marriage is one in which a couple has sex less than 10 times per year.  Yikes.

*A 2003 Newsweek magazine study concluded that between 15% and 20% of couples fall into this category. That’s enough for experts to label it an epidemic.

I’m curious.  I want to know if one lives in a sexless marriage, why one lives that way.  I want to know what it is that keeps folks in a sexless marriage.   Does solo sex get boring?  Does it make one more pissed off?

AND on a lighter more happy note…

UT is playing UAB this week.  All I gots to say is that if the VOLS lose, I’ll have to change the color polish on my toes before I go back to the office down there.  I can’t be sportin’ orange toe nails if they kick the shit out of us..


29 Responses to “SEX, Excuses & The VOLS”

  1. You know, I was married once before I met The Hubby and I did not enjoy sex at all. I have to admit I was one of the 24% who would have rather taken a bubble bath. Now, I liked sex before we got married but after we got married I think he stopped trying to make it a joint activity and it became more of a “give me mine” kinda thing. That’s why I didn’t look forward to sex with him. He sucked in bed!!!

    I think sex is like a muscle. If you don’t do anything, you’ll loose it…or your desire for it. When I met The Hubby, we were like frickin bunny rabbits…and still are it’s just that with the kids it’s more like when it rains, it pours. And we go through dry spells (which I hate) because life gets too busy.

    That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!!!

  2. No she doesn’t take bubble baths, and hell no she does not read at all, do people really get tied up while having sex? Darn I have been missing a lot. Things that make me go ummmmmm!

    Just kiddin’, I do get often enough. Maybe not as often as I would like (daily) but often is better than none.

  3. UT is not playing the Tide tho, they are playing Tide lite!!

    Solo sex on my end never gets old I’m an amazing lover!

    10 times a year?????????? thats insane
    hell id get it that much when i was only home on weekends!!!

    i think those stats are bs.

  4. What about oh, say…24 times a year? I guess that’s not a sexless marriage…just a crappy one?
    And YES of course it makes one more pissed off!!!!!!!!!!!!

  5. rantingdiva Says:

    RC- I hated it when I was married to Pizza Boy… or I guess I could say minute man.

    Jose- You got that right, doll!

    Sage- Yah, yah. Give a girl a break. It’s fixed. 🙂

    Olga- I stay pissed and I’ll leave it at that.

  6. If UT loses to UAB, which will never happen, I’ll publicly state here today that I’ll take the biggest and blackest dildo I can find, shove it up my ass and then walk around with it there for a week.

    Now it’s evident, in case I wasn’t already aware, that I’m in a sexless marriage. Man I tell you….once this one is over I ain’t tying the knot ever again. Single folks get way more sex!

  7. I thin it’s easy to get in a routine, whether that routine is a lot of sex or no sex. And like anything habitual, once the pattern is there, it’s hard to change. Sad.

  8. Accchhhh! I totally forgot to rag on you after my Bruins beat you! I swear I was thinking of you when the game ended!

    So long as your boys beat Florida and Georgia. They can do it, right?

  9. Shrink:
    I underschtand zat your vife haz lost eentrest in zex?
    You could say that…listen Doc, can you be labelled a Necrophiliac even if the object of your affection isn’t like, totally, legally, dead?
    Perhaps she eez undead, nosferatu?
    HA! No way Doc, Vampyres suck, and she hasn’t done any marble gargling since our Honeymoon 18 years ago.

    Have you seen that Good Houskeeping article from the 50s in which Women are instructed to pull themselves together, keep the children quiet and out of sight, and fix their husband a drink when he comes home from a hard day at the office? HA! North Americans are still suffering from a lot of Puritan/Victorian hangover but most men expected to be greeted everyday by a nymphomaniacal minx wearing nothing but a smile and gettin’ some chandelier swingin’ monkey love at 5:01 everyday..that’s why they got married!

    I better return this Nitrous Oxide back to the Dentist’s office tonight
    HAHAHAH..gawd I love this stuff but it’s hard to concentrate

  10. they would have loved my 2nd husband..who i think was asexual…he just did it to get it over after the 2nd time…i said you win…we don’t have to do that any least not with each other..i actually used it in my reasons for our divorice ..the judge asked me why i wanted a divorce and i said because the only thing we do in bed together is read and the only thing we have in common is we both like the cookie monster on sesame street…

  11. The Evil Twin and I are a pretty randy duo. I get molested in the middle of the night often. Unless it’s that time of the month and then, there’s nothing going on.

  12. hereinfranklin Says:

    So being a true Vol fan, I totally skipped all the sex talk and went straight for the football. But even tho my blood runs orange, my toenails will never be anything else but OPI “Friar, Friar, Pants on Fire.”

  13. I’ve seen stories on some TV shows about asexual people getting married and not being interested at all in sex. I thought they seemed a bit weird. I mean, whatever makes you happy, but I really thought they were lying. LOL

    No way the Vols lose to UAB. It won’t even be close.

    Hogs/Horns has been postponed because of Hurricane Ike. Bummer.

  14. What the survey results should say is “50% of married men suck at sex,” because if that’s the case it would explain why 50% of married women find sex depressing.

  15. What do they call it if 12 is the number?

    If UT gets whipped this week, I’ll not watch another game.

  16. A sexless marriage is one in which a couple has sex less than 10 times per year.

    Maybe I’ve been married for the last 20 years and just didn’t know it. You don’t have to worry about the Vols losing to UAB. Rocky Top is a lock this weekend.

  17. They probably didn’t get a representative sample – I bet they didn’t count all the women who were too busy having sex to answer a survey.


  19. Very interesting post Diva!

    Sex depressing and embarrassing???


    10 times a year? I don’t think I’ve ever known anyone in that boat!

  20. Bogus! Women only feel that way when the sex is terrible or we are not connected to our mate. Otherwise we want sexx….we crave sex…we love sex….

    Bogus report.

  21. Life's A Beach Says:

    Sex is very important. I could never live n a sexless marriage. I’d rather be single than be in a sexless marriage for sure!

  22. I think it has alot to do with your partner than what you like or dislike.
    Sex might be depressing doing it with that person and fantastic with someone else or maybe depressing when its the same routine all the time during sex.
    Sex can get satale when its a constant repetition of the same thing.
    I know alot of married women who just vibrate to get some.

  23. Oh and thank you for stopping by 🙂

  24. I’d H*mp 3 times a day if she would. We go at it about every 3rd day. (not enough in my mind) but, seems to be a lot more than my friends.

  25. well, since i am still looking for one of those husband types, I cant really say much about this subject…but I do agree with you “I mean really, I’d take mediocre sex over no sex.” Ditto.

  26. Lately I think my wife is getting more than I am … She spends a lot of time doing laundry and is often by the washing machine during the spin cycle.

  27. I think the research was flawed and brought up more questions than answers. I have a relative in a “sexless marriage” . But she has always had issues with sex. So is that her husband’s fault? No, but he has his own issues. Any man who doesn’t like the look of a woman in thongs is crazy.

    I digress …

    What was the population? If we’re talking 60+ year old women I can understand it because generational issues would play into it.

    Did the women not have sex because THEY sucked at sex? It goes both ways. Men aren’t all bad at sex. I’ve had some crappy partners who were in it only for themselves too. Those were the most life sucking relationships.

    The didn’t ask what the quality of the relationship outside of the bed was. Couples who communicate positively more and have common interests tend to have more and better sex.

    Poorly done survey is what I think.

    As far as solo sex. Hmmm …. My solo days are diminishing because my wife and I have enough sex ( 2-3 x a week w/ kids ) that we rarely need it. But when things come up and we can’t then I don’t think it’s boring. Solo sex actually takes away from a sexual relationship. Sex with yourself is never that disappointing.


  28. imo check this site allot now it has the same stuff of me, in a kinda way

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