A Shitty Review, Karaoke & Bad Ass Bitches

So, I got a shitty review.  Big fucking deal, eh?

Apparently, I am not worthy of this space on the Internet and there is a huge following over at Ask & Ye Shall Receive who agree.

I really hope everyone who comes here, who I consider blog friends/family, realize that when I’m saying stupid things about my friends or family, that it’s all in fun and that I mean no harm.

I know I’m a good wife, mother and friend.  My little feelings are just hurt.

Sure, I submitted my bullshit for a review.  A REVIEW… not a feast for a bunch of blood hungry fucking vultures.  But hey, ya get what ya pay for.   I got exactly jackshit.  A bunch of no life asshats sitting over there shooting out insults and calling names.

Eh, whatever.  To my new friends at Ask & Ye Shall Receive

 

******************************************************

I’m a karaoke junkie.   Started by accident really.

Across the street from hell my employer at that time, I go to BullFeathers… found it interesting to see and hear all the folks trying to sing a song.

It was a few weeks before I’d gathered up the nerve to eek out a song.

I sang Manic Monday by the Bangles. And I sucked big time!

But, drunks love karaoke and don’t make fun of anybody.  They just cheer louder when ya suck.

I was almost as bad as Cameron Diaz when in My Best Friend’s Wedding.

I told my Dad that I was having a blast and that he should come out and play too.

For anybody wondering why they call me Diva… it’s all my Dad’s fault.  He started it and it caught on.

He went out and bought me a home karaoke machine after that. Go Dad!

I tried to sing me some country. Um, let’s just go with NOT.  I was told I haven’t got enough ‘twang’ in my voice to sing any kind of country. Thank God!!! Diva don’t got no twang!!!!
Scratch country.

So, it’s the elevator/coffee shop stuff I’ve found I’m pretty good at.
I can sing the shit out of Fleetwood Mac. Diva Nix over here.
Love Norah Jones and any kind of oldie but goodie.

This is my speed:

stevie nicks

But sometimes, I’d love to have a little more of a brazen streak. I want to belt out something that only a bad-ass-chick would do.

Janis Joplin belts out Bobby McGee.

 

Joan Jett embraces her nasty girl side with Do Ya Wanna Touch.

joan jett

And Heart whips the shit out of Magic Man.

 

Not that I’m knocking my easy listening and soft rock talent, but…

Why can’t I be a bad-ass??

Advertisements

45 Responses to “A Shitty Review, Karaoke & Bad Ass Bitches”

  1. I’ve had all those chicks…in my mind!

  2. Oh Diva – u have no idea how I feel you on this one! I, too, am a karaoke addict, although the good karaoke places near me are gone so I haven’t been lately. I am a Norah Jones/Sarah Mcglaughlin type as well (my best song is Black Velvet, Alannah Miles) But some days I really wanna rock out. The ones you mentioned are good, or how about some R-E-S-P-E-C-T? And I’ve always wanted to sing Lady Marmalade. I never have though. It’s sad when you actually start caring about sounding good for a bunch of drunk strangers isn’t it?

  3. rantingdiva Says:

    Mushy- You naughty boy, you.

    Vino- I have actually done Lady Maralade before. Not the Molin Rouge version, though.

  4. What no Tammy Wynett- Stand by your man? hehehe

    I love karaoke but haven’t been to a karaoke bar in sooo long, my best is Dwight Yaokum…I got lots a twang heh.

  5. That’s it… I demand a video of Ms. Diva karaoking it in action!!!

    =)

  6. Being that I can barely speak English, I can only be as my daughter puts it “El Crooner” if the song is fast it espcapes me. I however have a full country music repertoir and I sing every single song with an accent. Way to make the songs my own. lol

  7. So, do you like listening to the other people doing karaoke, or is it just the performing you’re addicted to?

  8. i’d put another dime in your jukebox, baby…

    ahahahahahaaa… karaoke is fun, fun, fun… to watch…

  9. Hmmm… have you sang any Pussycat Dolls? Karaoke is just a small step down from my public speaking phobia…

  10. Ooooo, that first girl in the photo is my speed too! Where can I find her?? 😉

    I can’t sing for shit.

  11. rantingdiva Says:

    Trukindog- I tried it once. Once. It blew. 🙂

    Bella- There is one out there. But I’ll never tell where 🙂

    Jose- I’ve heard you sing, brother. Accent and all, it rocks!

    Brian- I LOVE to hear other people sing. It’s everybody in the place that makes it alot of fun!!

  12. rantingdiva Says:

    IV- I bet you’d get up & sing.

    Ron- I have. The karaoke jockey guy is a rapper, so he does the cool part.

    Slick- I’m thinking somewhere in Southern California prolly toking a bowl on the beach somewhere.

  13. What the fuck is up with those morons at “Ask and Ye Shall Receive?” I can accept (but disagree) with a negative review . . . but the “piling on” afterwards was just plain freaky! I think a lot of bitter people who didn’t have many friends in school are somehow attracted to that blog.

  14. rantingdiva Says:

    Riff- I actually asked that question over there. It’s like school kids who have grown up and have formed a social circle only to make other people feel really bad. Whatever.

    Thanks for the love.

  15. I don’t know who the hell that person is that reviewed your blog…but they suck. I told them that too in a comment. LOL! Obviously, that person doesn’t know you like we do. Did they even read your entire blog before reaming you?? Most likely NOT! You don’t have to defend yourself to any damn person, especially beotch.

    Say what you’re gonna say, whatever it is and tell everyone if they don’t like it to SUCK IT!!!!!

    Three cheers for DIVA! Yeee haw!! Woot! Yeeeow!!!

  16. Screw what other people think or say – pisses me off…the rest of us love you for exactly who you are & at least you keep it real…don’t sweat honey!! xo :O)
    What is that saying…”he who is without sin cast the first stone”….so there, shove it haters!

  17. All of those blog review sites are just a bunch of douchebag losers. I’ve never had mine reviewed, that I know of, but I could care freaking less what anyone things anyway.

  18. Diva, I am genuinely sitting here sick to my stomach. My eyes actually welled up for a moment reading that fucking site. I’m angry and disgusted and it’s not just about your review either. There’s so much I feel is wrong with that blog I don’t even know where to begin. Number one though would be why in the world people would enjoy spending their free time ripping other people apart. Why would you start a blog like that, even with voluntary participants?

    In the meantime, keep writing whatever you feel like writing and be whoever you want to be. The people who choose to come here and develop a friendship with you do so for a reason. Don’t let those pretentious, condescending people make you feel less than or picked on. Don’t let them tear you down even for a second.

  19. Everyone is entitled to their opinions. How they share those opinions comes down to their charactor. Not everyone at “ASK” is hurtful. I think most of those commenters are folks like us … meaning … readers (not reviewers) who visit and hang out there adding what they think is relevent commenting. We (your readers) are here because on some level we connect. You should not give up writing what makes you feel good. And I will not stop singing Elvis songs on Karaoke night …

    Diva, if I made you mad
    For something I might have said,
    Please, lets forget the past,
    The future looks bright ahead,
    Dont be cruel to a heart thats true.
    I dont want no other love,
    Diva its just you Im thinking of.

  20. send them to my blog and ill tell them to kiss my redneck ass…you called your kids turds and they calle you a bad mother..fuckem…i call my kids (who are adults now, but nothing has changed over the years) little assholes, dick heads and shit for brains…i refer to my daughter-in-law as ‘imacuntthedaughterinlaw’….i love my kids (the daughterinlaw, not so much) and grandkids but when they act like little assholes the mom calls them on it..plus the know when im kidding and when im serious..if im serious, no one but them knows what i called em..and anyone that piled on when the bitch slapped you can kiss my ass too..will give them my address they can come to the house and i’ll deliver it in person..dumb shits…i love your humor, i know the difference between joke and not a joke..some people should remove their heads from their asses, as it’s giving them a shitty outlook on life..
    now…about this karoake stuff…that’s a whole nother story…although i do a great version on ‘mercedes benz’ in the truck to the radio(janis joplin)

  21. If you can do Karaoke, you are a far braver person than I am. I think you should post a video of you singing. I’d love to see it.

    Bad reviews? Who cares. I only go see movies that get bad reviews because reviewers are typically pretty stupid. (Otherwise they’d have a real job).

  22. Okay, I just went over to that blog Ask & Ye Shall Receive, and I have to say that I have never seen anything quite so brilliant in my life. A group of people who have nothing worth saying at all have banded together in order to review other blogs. Brilliant in a totally retarded kind of way.

    Truthfully Diva, had it been anyone else saying that, I could understand you being hurt, but trust me, those people over at that site spend all of their time living in their mom’s basement raising gerbils and writing a blog.

    Fuck them. If they had any talent, they’d have a real blog.

  23. That Girl Says:

    I’ve been down that review board road myself. We should get together and gab.

    Don’t let somebody else decide how worthy you are.

  24. Um. Okay….Obviously those people who gave you a ‘bad review’ live in a bubble and they have NO sense of humor. FUCK THEM.

    I come to this blog BECAUSE you call your kids TURDS. And anyone WITH kids will agree with you. Its funny and ITS true.

    Thanks for the Janice…as you know I needed a new song in my head today and NOT the Mr. Rogers song!

    xxooo

  25. I’ve always thought that Stevie Nicks should’ve offered me a 2 minute Naked Wrestling Match with her. And I coulda guaranteed her it woulda NEVER lasted more than that.

  26. I’m not sure if she knows this yet – but Joan Jett is actually my girlfriend.

  27. My Word!

    My pro forma is too have fun and just post whatever the hell I feel like regardless of any forensic examinations. I ‘get you’ and love your cyber sound bite synopsis..everybody needs an angle and generally we write about what we know, feel, and think, and who we are and where we came from which quickly sets up our springboard.

    Some folks obviously feel the need to succumb to our innate and seemingly irrepressable demand to follow pseudo-notions of what is acceptable. Knock yourselves out.

    I wouldn’t waste a second trying to appease the critics at YAFI or anywhere else because I don’t know who died and made them experts on what does or does not make a 4 star blog? Like Cokkie Cutter Sharks they seem quite content to nip at passing prey items and leave their little mark..whatEV!

    I read some of the Blogs that they love and whatEV…some of them are good but I like the wide open format..some of the blogs I love are three sentences long, some have a single photograph and others have serious exhaustive grammatically atrocious discussions as well as knuckleheaded asshat random fluff.

    We all get attached to certain personalities but it’s just as fun roaming around and finding different venues too…there are millions of blogs to be discovered.

    I applaud your courage..most of us would shy away from even moderate inspection by complete strangers. Hey, we could form our own group that rates the critics? Na..too lazy…this is supposed to fun..atleast most of the time.

  28. Well I for one dont come here often enough ………

    And you can tell me ta fuck off anytime ………… but “Will I need a condom?”

  29. I wouldn’t sweat the review. People either get things or they don’t, and those idiots obviously don’t.

  30. OMG!! LOL!! I just read your review and some of the comments ROFLMAO!!! Those people I guess never heard of humor, sarcasm and creativity. They take the funny things you say and treat them like real life and judge you based on that, what retards. If I said I say a kid with a awesome ice cream cone and I drop kicked him and took it away does not mean I actually did violence and robbed the kid, it means it was a humorous way to say I wanted one too.

  31. Oh, and I forgot to mention, those guys over at Ask & Ye Shall Receive are turds.

  32. Wow – they are fuckin harsh over there – I can understand having your feelings hurt, mine would be too. But fuck ’em – look at how many loyal followers you DO have. We are here every day because we love you!

  33. Coincidentally, I’m listening to Stevie Nicks as I read your blog.

    *adjusts velvet beret and lace shawl*

  34. Okay, you’d better start posting again or I’ll kick your ass! 😉

  35. Wow, they did rip you a new asshole over there. Fuck them. They prob like Dooce. And they have Miss Britt on their 4 star. She’s annoying, Plus I hate mommy bloggers and all their depression.

    #1

  36. Wow. I can’t believe what those bitches over at the buzzard’s nest said. Good Lord, that was hateful. Do you ever remember hearing the old saying about people belittling others to feel better about themselves? I think it applies in this situation. I would not want to know those bitches to save my life! I think your icon says it all ~ FUCK THEM!
    I love you Diva, and I laugh at your posts everyday. Keep on being you. Fuck what anyone else thinks.
    ((HUGS))

  37. I could never do karaoke. #1. I don’t like to be the center of attention. #2. I can’t carry a tune in a bucket.

  38. Life's A Beach Says:

    Screw those negative bitches. I love your blog. I can see that’s it’s a poke fun with love style of writing that you have. Ask and Ye Shall Receive needs to lighten up and stop taking life (and herself) so seriously.

    Rock on, paryt on, pole dance on!! We love you!!

  39. Just wanted to pop in and say hi.

    “Hi!”

    I like to visit sites that they hate at AAYSR. I usually find them very entertaining. And you didn’t disappoint.

    When I karaoke, I do Enrique Iglesias’s “Hero” every time. I kick ass on that one . . .

  40. Oh! And the drunk guy named Junior that does Freebird every fucking time? Yeah. He sucks ass . . .

  41. They completely shit all over me, too.

    So, we’re in the same boat, Diva…in the same boat.

    Along with all these f*cking Cubans. How the Hell did they get in here?

  42. Oh, honey, you’re already a badass, don’t you worry! And those folks as ASK only know how to criticize…they would NEVER put themselves in the line of fire. Fuck ’em all…And then come fuck me…:)

  43. Diva- I do have trouble with being able to read your blog because of the black on white issue, BUT I don’t agree with the crap they said over at the shit mouth site. I think opinions are like assholes, everyone as one!Keep being you and forget jerks who think that what they say is important!
    Hugs and Love, Judy

  44. I want to french kiss that Joan Jett wearing her leather pants ….

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: