Clearing the Air, Old Folks & Pink Collars

So, I lied.   Yah, yah.  Forgive me?  K?

Didn’t make it around to visit today as I didn’t get the hell out of Sweet Home Alabama until 3:30.

Four hour drive back home and now I’m drinkin cold beer.

Swear, on my bottle of Jack, that I’ll be around Friday.


I feel I must clear the air here.  It’s only appropriate.

Most of y’all have seen pictures of me on my bloggie. Yes?

Tell me, people.  Do I really look like a girl, who at any time has been a pole dancer???

Now before I offend any one of y’all who might be or might have been a pole dancer let me say, COOL!!

If I was built for it, hell to the yah, I’d have done it…. excellent money and the chance to sleep all day.

But, I digress.  I apologize to have mislead anyone yesterday.  I was not, in fact, a pole dancer at anytime, other than in my dreams.


I would like to take uno momento to pay my respects to my Papa.  My grandpa.

This man loved me when I was an evil teenager and never gave up on me.

This man taught me how to drive when I was 14 on a dirt road in his new car.

He’s my hero.  He fought in World War II and he provided for his three sons and wife by a wing and a prayer.

He rolls the same route every day to visit all of the people in the neighborhood.

Happy Birthday, Papa!

You’re amazing for a man 90 years young!!


So, I know every single one of you are just waiting to hear why the hell I ended up running to Bama without so much as a peep before hand.   I just know it.

Here’s how it happened.  My company has been involved in taking over another company, which is located there in Alabama.

OG (my boss and most excellent friend for going on 9 years) moved down and assumed the position of President of said company on Monday.  Go OG!!  You rock balls….

Anyway, I get an email Tuesday evening from OG saying, “Dude, get your ass to Huntsville ASAP.  I’ve called a meeting for 9am.”

So, I got up and went to Huntsville the next morning in time for the meeting.  As it turns out, I was offered the position of C.F.O…  Ain’t that some shit?????

C. as Chief

F. as in Financial

O. as in Occifer

Wooo!  I’m not only white trash, but I’m white collar.  If only by title and definition.  That, my friends, is the redneck dirtying the white collar.   How.Bout.That.

I’ll be turning the white collar pink. 

Granted, I’m good with other people’s money.

Granted, I’m an awesome bean counter.

But, really.  I had no clue and therefore I’m drinking beer to absorb the shock.

So, I’ll be running a marathon to catch up with all of my blog reading after the shock wears off and I sober up.

Have a swell Friday boys and girls!


32 Responses to “Clearing the Air, Old Folks & Pink Collars”

  1. That looks as though it was cut short. Beer gettin’ to ya? haha Congrat-u-fucking-lations girl. CFO def sounds like a nice cushy white collar job for a redneck girl. I am jelly. As in jealous donchaknow.

  2. Woo Hoo! Congrats on the offer! Finally you’re getting recognition for all your hard work 🙂

  3. That’s awesome!! You totally rock!

    Happy B-Day to grandpa too.

    And I would totally be a pole dancer if I could. 😉

  4. well, you go girl…I’m plum proud of you…now I can say I knew you when…..

  5. Man, first a big shout out to grandpapa, happy birthday to him, may there be more birthdays to come. And to you, thats great news too. Congratulations on your promotion. I’ll drink one in your honor. Salud!

  6. Nice! Congratulations.

    Just remember us little people when you start embezzling.

    Thanks in advance.

  7. Holy Crap!!
    Good for you!!!!!

    you ROCK!


  8. you could totally be a pole dancer!!


  9. That ended rather abruptly.

    Did you fall off your pole?

  10. Awww. Happy Birthday to Papa. And a big congrats to the new CFO! Yay!

  11. Awesome, Congrats…are you going to take it?
    Will you move to AL?
    I will toast to you next weekend with ANB!
    You ROCK babes! xoxo

  12. ecellent!! *cheers* wow how exciting… its always nice to hear that one of us can pass for white collar…

  13. congratulations!! Does that mean you have to move to Huntsville?

    I love you even if you were a pole dancer…that is hot!

  14. Judos to your grandpa and congratulations to you Diva!! Have a fantastic weekend to celebrate.

  15. rantingdiva Says:

    Vino- Oh shit! You’re right! I’ll change white collar to pink in no time!

    Ron- Thanks !!!

    Jay- You’d make a spectacular pole dancer, my man!!

    Jackie- I ain’t goin no where. You’ll always know me!

    Jose- Gracias!! Cheers to ya!

    Moooog- You’ll get the second cut right after me.

    #2- Thank ya, Thank ya very much!

    Meleah- I’m just waaaaay to modest.. Bwaaaahahhahaa

    MJ- No, girl. I fell in the damn beer.

    ETW- Muchasss grassyass, mamas!

    PPD- Nah, I’ll commute a few days a week. Thanks!!!

    IV- Pink, baby. Pink collar. Red + white = Pink.

    Jam- Awww, everybody love the pole dancer in me.

    Melissa- Thanks, sweetie pie!!

  16. WOWZA!

    You are not only Master of the Universe…you are now GOD! The CFO is the one who says yes or no to almost everything and anything. That is so super amazing I think I’m going to pee my pants!

    Are ya still coming out this way in September? I want to say I had drinks and got stinking drunk with a real, live CFO!!!! LOL!

    Okay, I’m a little slow. You know that…which is why I thought you were a pole dancer. You so totally could be you know that, right? Even now.

    Happy Birthday Papa! 90 is amazing!

    Have a wonderful weekend!

  17. Congrats on your promotion! Now you can swear off pole dancing for good. Or as I like to say, you can take the girl off the pole but not the pole out of the girl. Okay, that made no sense, except maybe in an extremely perverted sort of way. So please, forgive me.

    Oh, and Happy BDay to your Grandpa.

  18. God bless your papa…America will miss all these old dudes one day and realize that there are fewer and fewer of them being born today.

  19. Congrats girl! That’s great! Let me know next time you’re in Bama and I’ll buy you some shots to celebrate!

  20. Happy Birthday to Papa, thats so cool.
    Congrats on the Pink collar WOO HOO!
    You could dance on my pole…uh oops um that just slipped out. 🙂 heh heh

  21. You mean that’s not you on You Tube? Oh well…

    Congratulations on the job. I hope you won’t be raising the tone of your blog as a result.

  22. Holy Shit!! That totally rocks any pole!! Congrats!!

    Yeah, that did end abruptly~break a high, platform, light up lucite heel swirling round that pole???

    Rock it girl and happy birthday grampa!

  23. Well I say break out the JD and the poles!…let’s party!!!!…Wooo-hoooo!!! Congrats on your pink collar Sweetie! xoxoxo

  24. rantingdiva Says:

    RC- You, me & the bottle makes 3 on October 4th.

    Keith- Who couldn’t dig even the perverted part of your being?

    Mushy- You got that right. I think that mold got smashed a more than a few decades ago.

    Chuck- You, me & the shot glasses. September 2nd. Huntsville.

    Trukindog- Slipped?? I bet.

    Brian- My tone will never change. I is who I is.

    LAB- I sure did love those shoes too… Dayum.

    Olga- I’ll be up your way in October, you can catch me and RC for shots!

  25. I used to be a lapdancer and I strongly recommend it.

  26. White collar + white trash + CFO job =

  27. rantingdiva Says:

    Chris- Damn. I bet you’re right. Closer proximity to the dollar bills.

    Royters- It won’t be me, they gave me a fat raise. I dunno. I just figure I’ll be the first to get thrown in white collar prison when something goes wrong.

  28. Congratulations on the Job. It’s always nice when your collar matches your, um, er, trash?

  29. Hope you had a great weekend, and hope to see you again soon!

  30. Good on ya girly! Here’s a cold one for ya!

    Well, come by and check out my last post for the mystery trip! A bit late but better late than never I say! LOL!
    Many hugs!

  31. that’s totally awesome!!! I suck at math.

  32. First … Happy B-Day PaPa.
    Next … Congrats! CFO!
    Lastly … Pole dancing only in your dreams?
    Wrong … You pole dance in my dreams too. (*blush)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: