Delivery Boys, Stupid Girls & Fate

Fate is an evil whore.

It was around 9:15 on a sultry summer Tennessee Saturday night. 

I was 16 and I was the shit.  At least I thought I was.

I was babysitting and the kid was hungry.  As it still is, I was lazy and didn’t want to cook anything nor clean up the mess.

What to do? What to do?   Pizza.  Kids like pizza.

I rang up the local Domino’s and by 10:00 our pizza was at the door.

The bell rang and I went to the door.

Dammit.  He’s hot.

He smiled. I smiled. I gave him the money and watched him strut back to his ride.

What to do?  I wanted to talk to this guy.

Pizza.  Kids like pizza.

I rang up the local Domino’s and by 11:00 our pizza was at the door.

The bell rang and I went to the door.

Dammit.  He’s hot.  I’m gonna talk to him this time.

Just so happens I didn’t realize there are other delivery dudes.   

Just so happens he recognized the address and snatched it so he could come back and talk to me.

We commenced talking while the kid ate disgustingly huge amounts of pizza and watched Nightmare on Elmstreet.

The kid went to sleep at some point as we sat on the front porch talking.

We must have lost track of time, because my mother came outside, still half asleep and obviously annoyed.

“Are you A?”  She asked.

“Yes Ma’am.”  He answered.

“Well, your boss just called and asked if you’d been here yet since you left 3 hours ago.  You might want to go back to work.  You (talking to me) get your ass back in this house.”

And that’s how it happened. 

Hind sight shows me that Pizza Boy was a poison pill.

But, on that fateful night, my future was sealed.

Anybody else meet anybody in an odd, weird or unusual way?

27 Responses to “Delivery Boys, Stupid Girls & Fate”

  1. The pizza guy last night weighed about 350 lbs. I checked to make sure all eight slices were in the box before he left.

    I’ve never met anyone in an odd, weird, or unusual way. I’ve never met anyone in a normal, standard, or typical way either.

  2. Is this how you met your husband? Interesting.

  3. I like to story…cute….damn those boys back then…lol xo

  4. I worked in a record store back in the day (many, actually), but I was totally craving fried chicken one day while I was working. I had been talking about it and these guys who were shopping and flirting with a co-worker and I overheard me.
    “I want fried chicken. Bad. But not ordinary fried chicken. I want it cold, leftover, from the fridge,” I recall saying.
    I then went in our backroom to do something and next thing I know, I am being summoned to the front of the store. There stood one of the guys I had been flirting with holding a bucket of KFC!
    He told me he had heard that I was hungry for chicken and that I had better put the bucket in the fridge so that it would be cold. Just how I wanted it.
    Wow. No guy had ever done that for me. I was smitten, but only managed to date this guy a couple of times.
    It didn’t work out between us, but I ended up hooking him up with my friend. They are now married and are living in Arizona!
    I still refer to this guy as “Chicken Man”. LOL.
    I’m sure I can remember others, but this one still makes me smile 🙂

  5. cheese picked me up at our local bar… id been drooling over her for years already though…. does that count?

  6. There I was with only $50 dollar bill and I so needed 50 $1 bills. I ran around the club until I saw her. I approached with my $50 prepared to ask if she had change and in a flash she grabbed it and drug me to the back room. I thought for a moment to explain that I needed change, but was soon persuaded not to question what was going on.

    Now if only any of that were true it would be a cool story!

  7. Does blogging count?

  8. I once met this chick at a cow sale.

    Her Dad had a lot of beef.

    You had an interesting story, girl!

  9. The Hubby was an uninvited guest at my 29th birthday party. I walked up to him (stinking drunk, of course) and asked him point blank, “Who the hell are you?” He said he came with somebody I actually did invite. Then I asked him to dance, and that was my future sealed.

  10. Good post.

    Yes, i met a girlfriend in a strange way. We were 18, and met while she was shitfaced drunk. We’d spoken a couple of times & she comes over and uses my leg as a pillow. We were in a bar in Lancaster, and I was wearing a trenchcoat thinking the old perv look was one that suited me (ah, teens).

    She snoozes for a little – so I think. When she gets up to stagger off, there is a patch of ACID vomit, eating its way through my tiny precious 18 year old cool. Fuck!

    We met a couple of days later, and I was very understanding. We hit it off from there. She was gorgeous, and often didn’t vomit on me. Which is, I think, a plus.

  11. rantingdiva Says:

    Bob- Ewwww, scary pizza man.

    Keith- Yah, but we’ve been divorced for alotta years… but it’s still a cute story.

    PPD- Cute, but toxic… very, very toxic.

    Michelle- Awwwww. That’s a sweet story!

    IV- Of course that counts!!!

    Ron- You had me going for a minute.

  12. rantingdiva Says:

    Narm- Yes it does!! I want details!!!

    Slick- So, she was a cowgirl?? 🙂

    RC- Classic.

    Chris- Acid vomit is the root of all evil 🙂 It’s cool you hit it off when she was in her right mind!!

  13. Thanks for stopping by CatScratch & cheers!

  14. the first time I took acid i met this guy at the bar where i worked..i was tripping on acid, the next thing i remember is waking up in reno, nevada(i lived in portland, oregon) and was married to the guy..every time he would walk off i would forget what he looked like and he would come back and have to reintroduce himself to me all over again..i swear to goddess this is a true story..

  15. It’s alright for women – they can order a cheap pizza and get some guy turning up on their doorstep. There’s nothing you can order on the phone that’s delivered by women, apart from women themselves, and that’s rather expensive (or so I hear).

  16. I would have been so embarrassed if my mother came out there like that. Yikes!

  17. does working at a plumbing company count…between taking plugged toilet calls I saw him and he saw me…I knew we had to meet! He was the recruiter for the plumbing company! The only man who didn’t have nasty work boots covered in shit!

    Come by when you get a minute and check something out…I thought it was really cool and wanted to share! Part I & II!

  18. …and that pizza boy? Was Fred Savage.

    No, I don’t think I’ve met anyone in an interesting way. Sorry. I want to be entertaining, but…

  19. I met Wifey by kidnapping her.

  20. The pizza delivery guy…

    That is such a classic porn film plot.

  21. Went to the disco on a Friday night, my first time at a disco ever.
    Hot legs contest took place, I rooted for the short girl with the hot legs dressed in a 40s outfit with fish net nylons. She took second but in my book she was first.

    Fast forward,

    Two years later, same disco (Yeah, I was a disco kid) I ask this girl to dance with me, the place was nearing closing time and so we danced for the next hour of so.

    Fast forward,

    We are still dancing.

  22. Oh, and by the way, leg contest girl and the one I’m still dancing with… yeap, same girl.

  23. Yep. My wife.

    It involved my buddy, the beach, beer, and two broken feet.

    Read all about it here.


  24. I met my current girlfriend while at a party at her older sister’s house. The older sister was a pretty good friend of mine. Well, she still is. Probably even more so now. I guess it’s not that weird.

  25. I met my ex on the Ferry to a winery…we were both sauced on wine. Then we got busted by the cops trying to break into his hotel room because he forgot his key, and almost got arrested. It was HOT.

  26. I want a Pizza Boy. Too bad I cant eat pizza. Maybe I can get my cute guy to deliver a lot of salads!

  27. I met my wife when we were 15-years-old. We met at the local community center gym … on girl’s night. We were bad little boys.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: