Bouncy, Peppy & Oh So Stooopid

It never fails.  I have a lovely post about telemarkers allllll ready to go and then I find something that just can’t wait.

Apparently, it’s Cheer Camp season.  You know, the time of year when a shit pile of mini skanks in training converge to learn how to be more bouncy and peppy and how to get the crowds all worked up.

I don’t say mini skanks in training in a condescending way.  I was once a mini skank in training myself.  I know the drill.  And the fact is, we get smarter, much smarter with age.

Anyway, so, a bunch of goofy girls are at University of Texas for their little Cheer Camp when a light bulb went off right above one of their heads while they were waiting for the evelvator to come get them.

Bright Idea Cheerleader (BIC): “Oh My God!!  You guys! I just had a bright idea!!!”

Pack of follower (POF):  “Do tell!!  Do tell!!!”

BIC- “There are signs everywhere that say only 15 people can fit on this elevator.”

POF-  *crickets*

BIC- “Don’t you get it???  There are 26 of us and I bet we can all fit in on it.”

POF- “OOOHHHH!!!”  Followed by lots of giggles.

The elevator arrives, the doors open and 26 giggling, bouncing cheerleaders prance on.

The doors shut.

The elevator decends to the first floor.   BUT…

The doors won’t open.

BIC- “Oh crap!  We’re stuck.”

POF- *crickets*

BIC- “The doors won’t open cuz there’s too many of us in here!!”

POF- “OOOHHHH!!!” Followed by complete cheerleader panic and fainting.

Anyways, alls well that ends well.  One of those brainiacs thought to call 911 from her cell phone and they were free within a half hour.

Yah.  Those cheerleaders.  Some of the brightest crayons in the box.


Ok, so I’d like to introduce all y’all to a couple more of my friends here on Blogger’s Lane.


Bob– The Essence of Bobness.  He’s just adorable.

Slick– Slick Sumbich.  He makes me look like a choir girl he’s so sarcastic.

MJ– Infomaniac.  Another one who makes me look like a saint.

Vol– TN Vol Fan.  Pics.  Go see ’em.


23 Responses to “Bouncy, Peppy & Oh So Stooopid”

  1. OMG, how lame.

    I would have panicked for sure! How stupid!

  2. When I heard about that, I almost crashed my car I was laughing so hard.

    And to think, I was once one of those girls.


    However, I like to think i’m a little brighter.

  3. Oh my… Why couldn’t I have snuck on board as the 27th passenger. I don’t think I would have complained to much about 1/2 an hour crammed in close proximity to 26 nubile college cheerleaders. Hell I may go to a college and start trying to challenge some cheerleaders to try it. 😉

  4. its just too bad that i wasnt there…

    “allright ladies, we are stuck on here.. in order to conserve oxygen we are all going to have to take our tops off and huddle together…. thats it, everyone move in a little closer….”

  5. LOL! I love the *crickets* because I’m sure that’s exactly how it went!

    And how old does that video make me feel? Well, let’s just say that I’m tripping over my saggy ass and boobs trying to do that “Hey Mickey” routine. Why the hell did I do that? Now I need to go take some Advil!

  6. Not very clever. Those of us with age and experience on our sides would have said: “There are 25 of you, and I bet you can all fit in! I’ll take the stairs and we’ll see who gets there first!”

  7. Oooooh. I love that image and that sentence, “shit pile of mini skanks.” It conjures up some crazy scenes in my head.

  8. I can imagine how much drama was going on in that elevator. I guess there was only one chick who they keep on the squad to keep the collective GPA above the minimum allowed by the school was the one who thought to call 911. Too bad there wasn’t a security camera in that elevator cause you KNOW that video would be on YouTube already. LOL

  9. I honestly didn’t know that you could get all that stupidity in one box.

  10. who says college kids are the best and the brightest?…silly bitches

  11. *Smacking forehead* That was like a bad blonde joke, except sadly, it wasn’t a joke. Wow.

    You know what I find funny? How in the blog world you tend to attract like minds and such and so it can sometimes be a six degrees of separation thing. Anyway, I say that because Slick has been friends for a while with a couple of my oldest blog friends (like 2½ years) so I’ve seen him lots prior to your nod to him today. I just never added him because I always kept my blogroll small. That seems to be changing a bit lately… 😉

    That happened to me when I found Mike too. We had friends who had friends in common… weird.

  12. These “camps” are getting out of control. There seems to be one for practically everything now.

  13. OMG…I so remember that song! Shit, I remember having it on a 45!!! LOL.
    Those girls….((shakes head)) I would LOVE to see a video of that! I can’t stop laughing!!

  14. rantingdiva Says:

    Bella- I get all freaked out in an elevator as it is. I almost yacked going up in the Empire State Bldg. & the Sears Towers… Ain’t cool!

    Beth- Luckily, once we stop cheering and stop living real life the brain cells begin to generate 🙂

    Ron- Now that sounds like a plan, my friend!

    PPD- I know, too stupid for words, eh?

    InnerVoices- Oh my. You dirty boy.

  15. rantingdiva Says:

    RC- The video made my boobs hurt just thinkin about it.

    Brian- It seems you and me think quite alike.

    Keith- Naughty, naughty… goodness. 🙂

    Jay- A collective GPA of 1.3 ?? Reckon?

    RonnJazz- Effort, baby. Lots and lots of effort.

    Jackie- Amen.

    Melissa- You just gave me a rockin blog idea, sister!

    Riff- It’s all about the Benjamins ya know.

    Michelle- I actually sang that thing at karaoke one night.

  16. I can still do the splits.

    I just can’t raise myself back up into a standing position anymore after doing them.

  17. Aawwww… adorable? You must have me confused with another blogger.

    Anyway, I’ve been around a lot of cheerleading competitions (not in a stalker kind of way) and I’ve seen these types in action. They cry when they win, they cry when they lose, they cry when they cry. Ugh… little drama queens.

  18. That is the best story….ever. HAHAHAHAHAHA

    I am dying laughing at this one.

    Dontcha just love when great blog material falls on your lap?

  19. What if I was the only guy in that elevator….and I was butt naked?

    I could hear it now….”What’s Pokin Me?”

  20. Someday Cheering will be an Olympic event. Then Jesus will come back and tell us NOBODY gets to move through The Rapture for being so f’n stupid to support such nonsense.

    Now you can move on to put those telemarketers in their place while you enjoy your BRAND NEW AWARD!!!! (see dogsandjeans for details – some restrictions apply)

  21. This story would have been better if it had gone like this:

    POF- *crickets*

    BIC- “The doors won’t open cuz there’s too many of us in here!!”

    And then, in all it’s holy glory…

    …was the best. lesbian orgy. ever.

  22. rantingdiva Says:

    MJ- I knew you were my hero for a good reason 🙂

    Bob- Are you saying girls cry too much?? Huh? Areya?? *wink*

    Meleah- It was a gift from the blog heavens.

    Moe- You are a bad, bad boy.

    Thorn- I couldn’t agree more. Jesus will smite us all the day cheerleading makes the Olympics.

    Moooog- I can’t even believe you’d be interested in a cheerleader orgy… oh wait… yes I can.

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