Bearded Lizards, Lightnin Bugs & Mourning Children

My household is short one member this morning. My daughter is super sad.

I woke up around 1-ish this morning and the livingroom lights were on. I rounded the corner to find Miss A, her boyfriend and the boy sitting around looking extremely sad.

My first instinct was to be pissy because the boyfriend was still here. Then I figured by the solemn expression on each face that something indeed was troubling them.

The next thing I noticed was the lizard’s habitat was not in the girl’s bedroom, but in the livingroom with the depressed looking children. I was told the lizard was passing into the next life.

Immediately, I was transported into late night depression too.

FLASHBACK: “Mom, we’re goin out to catch lightnin bugs,” my daughter said.
They came in and went to the bedroom, where the lizard habitat is housed, lightning bug contraption in tow. Out of the bedroom I hear them giggle as the lizard must have been performing tricks to get the treat.

Lizards eat bugs, that’s nature.

So, they figured since it would jump across its home to get a cricket, it would jump in the air to get a flying critter. They finish feeding it 3 of the luminescent delicacies. And put in a movie. That’s when I went off to bed.

BACK TO THE NOW: So, whilst Diva slept, the lizard was becoming very ill.

By the time I woke up, it was too late. They had looked it up on the internets. Fireflies are TOXIC and not to be ingested by any other living creature.

We will be burying Joey today. Out back. Next to the rat that didn’t make it through baby rat birth.

I suppose in order to ease her sadness, I’ll wait a day or two and go get her another reptilian playmate.

I’ll be glad when she gets over having pets that require special care.  Why not go get a goldfish?


16 Responses to “Bearded Lizards, Lightnin Bugs & Mourning Children”

  1. Ixnay on the Goldfish-ay.

    (That was fucking HORRIBLE pig Latin)

    My kids have fish.

    They die.

    They die OFTEN.

    It’s damn near impossible to get “twin” goldfish in a sneaky manner.

    The last time one died, I ran out and got a new one…close as I could remember to the other one.

    My son:

    “Hey…what happened to Bumblebee (he named his fish “Bumblebee”) – he got really fat! And he changed color!”


    If you’re used to lying, then go ahead. It’s not that bad.

  2. You could always get her a tortoise – they live so slowly that they can last 150 years. 150 not very exciting or dynamic years, but at least you won’t have to bury it.

  3. Well who’d of thunk it? I’d have fed my lizard lightening bugs too. Poor Lizzy. But kids bounce back from this type of thing, usually with a trip to the petstore. Try a snake. Then you wouldn’t have had to bury the rat that died during ratbirth, it would have just been lunch.

  4. Aw. 😦 Poor kiddos. But I never knew that about lightning bugs. How odd.

  5. I would get Rabbits!! They breed so quickly that there will be no sadness as there will always be herds or cut little bunnies!

  6. Oh, poor kids! How we’re they supposed to know lightening bugs were toxic? Lesson learned. You know it’s a rite of passage that all kids have to go through: loosing a pet. I’m not looking forward to the day our psycho cats go into the next realm (well, I am actually because they bug the shit out of me sometimes) because my kids are going to be so sad too.

  7. ooooooooooor…you could donate the money that you were going to use to buy a pet to the local zoo and ask that it be used for food for a lizard, or a snake or what ever….
    sorry about the lizard…that’s sad..

  8. Poor Joey! That is so sad. =(

    Since you seem to be taking suggestions for another pet, how about I send you a hermit crab???


  9. I never knew that! You learn something new everyday. Thanks for the info.

    How sad! I hope your daughter get over it soon, when mom grants her the new reptile……..honey, you must really love your children, I honestly couldn’t handle one of those in my house, I would be a wreck thinking it would escape from its housing.

    My daughter had a small snake. I had a nervous breakdown until the damn thing died…………6, yes 6 years later……I think I lived on Xanax that whole time.

  10. That were a good’un!

  11. Oh man I shouldn’t have ordered the fireflies.

  12. May señor lizard rest in peace. Will your daughter consider a “chia pet”?

  13. Oooohhhh. That sucks!! I feel bad for the kids, man. Who knew?? I didn’t know that fireflies were toxic. Hmm. You just learned me sumthin’ Diva! I told my son too, so that he would know for future reference. LOL.
    About the goldfish. Ummm. Yeah. Don’t do it. Not unless your kids are Responsible. Notice the captial R. Goldfish are nasty, dirty creatures. I had one for almost 3 years before I “let it go”. They usually die quickly (I went through 3 before the Survivor came along). Trust me though…they’re vile.

  14. awwww……

    yeah. I think a goldfish will be a better bet next time around.

  15. Here’s what you should consider … A Dionaea muscipula … a Venus Fly Trap … it’s a carnivorous plant. Like the lizzard it captures and eats insects. Oh … and watch your fingers.

  16. Poor kids. Poor lizard. I had no idea fireflys were toxic. 😦

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