Back doors, Commandments & Stud-Service

For each and every situation in life, I’ve come to realize J.R. Ewing had all the answers.  The man was full of sarcasm and owned some mad business skillz.   

I really think he had horns under that 10 gallon hat.

The man was a total chauvinist pig,  but he was so charming that I couldn’t help but love him. 

The following is a trip down memory lane of J.R. sarcasm and wit.


“Honey, if you wanna hear your answer, you gotta ask the question at the right time; that’s from J.R. Ewing’s handbook!”    In other words, don’t be waiting until I’m drinkin a cold beer and chatting with friends, singin on the karaoke machine, watching a NASCAR race, cooking dinner, burning something on the grill, or Tennessee Football is on to ask me a question.

The proper time to ask me a question is when I’m drinking a cold beer and not talking to my friends.  The most opportune moment to ask something of me is generally when we are (how shall I put it)  in the midst of foreplay and I’m in heaven.  I’ll pretty much agree to anything at that point in time.

 Like my daddy alway’s said: if you can’t get in the front door, just go around to the back.”

Ain’t that the truth.  For so much as I like to do things the right way and make super all the T’s are crossed and all the I’s are dotted…. sometimes ya just gotta figure out a back way in or out of any given situation.

“Don’t forgive and never forget; Do unto others before they do unto you; and third and most importantly, keep your eye on your friends, because your enemies will take care of themselves. “

Amen, amen, and amen.  Although I generally forgive, I find it awfully hard to forget.  If you’re gonna be an hateful asshat to me, then you should think long and hard about it, because I’ll be an evil asshat right back, most of the time I’ll be 10 times more evil than you ever thought of being in the first place.  Keep that in mind.  I wouldn’t want a semi psychotic bitty walking around without her haterblockers thinkin about how to best be evil.

“A conscience is like a boat or a car. If you feel you need one, rent it.”

I tend to agree here.  You can read any one of my posts about the seven deadly sins to know I’m a carnal individual and only feel bad long enough to have a rental concience.  It would be a waste of time and money to have one full time.

“Well I’ll be damned if you can come in here any time you want and use me like some stud-service!”

Nuff Said.


21 Responses to “Back doors, Commandments & Stud-Service”

  1. HEH HEH… “just go around the back…” yeah…
    sounds like the old “no grass in the field, play in the mud…” slogan from the days of yore…. just a warning, i’ll be back!

  2. I’d forgotten how cool J.R. was!

  3. When we used to go to the relatives place on Sundays the whole house would STOP what they were doing to watch Dallas. Everyone loved to hate their favorite TV guy, Larry Haggman.

  4. J.R. was da bomb!


  5. yeah, i know tons about a scorpio…im either your best friend or your worse’s all up to how you treat me…and like i always say”if you beat around the bush, all you get is a beat up bush”…
    I miss ole jr and dallas…it was such a great tv show…and knotts landing…don’t make tv like that any more..

  6. JR was a scoundrel that you loved to hate and remember all those tacky cowboy hats and boots ‘N’ suits Darlin’…
    plus the Oil Embargo and Energy Crisis of 79 and the Iranian Hostage/Revolution gave that show some timely relevance and stirred up American Patriotism…don’tcha think?

    More than anything I remember Dallas for the return of a dead Bobby in the shower was all just a dream Pam..Wiki cites this as a textbook example of A ‘deus ex machina’ a Latin phrase for “god from a machine”

    which is “an improbable (OUTRAGEOUS) contrivance in a story characterized by a sudden unexpected solution to a seemingly intractable problem ”

    As much as I loved Who Shot JR I still remember uttering, “Oh for f*ck sake!” when Pat Duffy was towel dryin his hair and Victoria Grrrrr Principal somehow managed to keep a straight face..
    now THAT my friends is acting.

  7. Sounds like he was a back door man.

  8. I loved the spin off … Knots Landing … I saw every single episode. Twice!

  9. I need to take some lessons from you and JR!

  10. It doesn’t really matter because…. It was all a dream!!!

  11. I love LOVE love JR. Thanks for the memories! xxoo

  12. I think I need to crack open a vintage Pabst Blue Ribbon beer to enjoy ‘ol Larry Hagman singing. I loved the JR-isms, the last one being my fave. Thanks for visiting my blog. I loved visiting yours. Hilarious!

  13. haaaaaaaaaaaaa
    gotta love JR!
    Excellent quotes!

  14. I loved him on Jeannie.

  15. JR was a homersexual??! Who’da thunk it?

  16. Please email me –
    I have a proposition for yooooo…..

  17. Aw, J.R. Ewing! Now that brings back some memories!

    =) Bella

  18. hmm..he always made me wanna kick puppies…is that bad?

  19. I remember when he did guest spots on Fantasy Island and I got all hot and bothered and didn’t know why, because I was, like, seven. But now I know. Oh, now I know.

  20. JR … damn, you’re right. He knew how to live life to its fullest! lol

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