Wasabi Peas, Loud Farts & Sperm

First – I just know you wanna see a picture of Big T’s knee after the knee replacement.  He’s up.  He’s walking.  And he’s as annoying as ever.  So, basically, he’s just fine and will only get better.

But for you sick individuals who love blood and surgical scars… here ya go.

Yuckie, huh….

Evil Twins Wife bestowed upon me the coolest lil ditty I’ve seen out there for a long, long time.

Now I’d seen it floating around various bloggies on the internetz, but didn’t think I was one of those kids who is cool enough to get it.

Honestly, I had aspirations to go and snatch it off of somebody else’s blog and just post it.  BUT, that ain’t cool.

My nephew has always told me… “Auntie… patience, patience wins the race.”

And I always wanted to smack the shit out of him for it, but he’s cute, so I didn’t.

Turns out this time he was right.  I win the race.  ETW seems to thinks I’m “funny as hell”.

That said, I say THANK YOU!  You should click go visit her cuz she’s Domestic Godess Numero Uno!

I shall pass this treasure on to five….  So, y’all come ‘n get it….

Steve – Rainbows Refect Rays of the Sun – This dude’s poetry is amazing and it makes me all warm and fuzzy when I need it and it makes me dark and sad when I need it.  He gots a gift.

Groovy Mom – Now is Good – Adorable, karaoke bar fly.  Just adorable.

Mikie – Tongue in Check – Shoot from the hip, all out sarcasm.  And lots of tits and ass.

#1 & #2 – Holy Crappers.  Beer.  Need I say more.  Beeeeeer.

Random Chick – Confessions of a Random Chick – Ok. So, she already has this award.  But it’s supposed to be passed to them folks that inspire and make one think.  She makes me think about pee and drinkin and crashing parties and drinking and other fun things.  Besides that, she’s one of my best bloggin chums.

Now the fun part.   As if you’re not getting a laugh a minute up in here…. THE MEME… cuz everybody who comes by should know by default….. IT’S ALL ABOUT ME BITCH!

Yah yah... the rules.
1. Link the person(s) who tagged you (That would be Evil Twins Wife)

2. Mention the rules on your blog (This is them!)

3. Tell about 5 unspectacular quirks of yours… 

4. Tag 5 following bloggers by linking them… (totally optional here kids)

5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged.

And here they are in no particular order.

A- The thought of sperm makes me wanna yack.  It’s just EEEEEWWWWWW.  Don’t get me wrong.  I love penis, but keep that thing away from my eyesight when it unloads.  Know what I mean?

B- I am a lover of cold beer and wasabi peas.  I highly suggest.

C- You’ll love this.  I’m a fart master.  I know, I know.  Your image of me as a lovely, well mannered lady is now officially just a stench in the wind.  They are loud, but not stinky.  It’s a way to get attention when ya need to make a toast or an announcement, like tapping your wine glass with a little spoon.

D- I carry my camera everywhere.  It’s always either in my car or in my purse.  I mean seriously, you never know when somebody might do something that you can hold over them forever if you catch it digitally.

E- I’m addicted to school.  Yes, at nearly 40, I’m going for another degree.  Why not.  I have nothing else to do but drink and smoke and be vulgar.  I guess it’s a way to focus my energy for good rather than evil.

So, there ya have it.  Enlightened?  I think so.

I don’t tag.  But if you decide to spill some nasty shit about yourself, please do let me know.  I love those disgusting little tidbits that shape us into individuals.

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21 Responses to “Wasabi Peas, Loud Farts & Sperm”

  1. Random Chick is the bomb. Great choice!

  2. That knee looks awesome! I wish I had taken pictures of my arm when I broke it and had to have surgery on it when I was a kid. It was really nasty looking. LOL

  3. The Evil Twin likes going for the “facials”, so I can’t really get away from the sperm. At least I don’t have to taste it. Blech. Oh shit, did I just say that out loud?

  4. That scar is almost as cool as my kidney removal scar.

    Almost, but not quite.

    Thank you for the award Diva, I do appreciate it and shall give it a place of honor on my blog.

  5. Ouch, that knee picture makes me hurt for him…YIKESABEE!
    Interesting Meme….I love the wasabi peas myself but, I have never mixed them with beer.
    Have a Happy Hump Day babes! xo

  6. That photo of Big T’s knee had me yaking! GAWD! Bleech!

    Why thank you for the award, my dear. And who cares if I’ve got one already…I will gladly take it and bask in all it’s glory! Awards rock!

    I hear sperm is good for keeping your skin looking youthful, just like pee.

    Wasabi peas and beer give me gas, speaking of which…you and I should enter a fart contest. We’d so totally win!

    If we ever meet and go out, you are NOT bringing that damn camera!

    What’s this thing called skool?

  7. I’m an old drunk so I’ll pass on the beer, but I love wasabi peas…they are sooo good…
    and my entire family are professional farters…but the boys stiiiiiink…once when my son and I were working at a big 3 story Methodist Church my son was in the basement and got on the elevator, farted and then got off and sent the elevator up to us…we opened the door stepped in and bam it hit us..I yelled down the elevator shaft..’you little asshole’….I bet them folks never knew all the stuff we pulled in their beautiful church..

  8. Awesome photo! Nothing like a bazillion stitches to impress everybody!

  9. What smells in here?

    *takes another swig from the bottle*

  10. rantingdiva Says:

    Bob- We have the love of Random Chick in common!!!

    Jay- Chicks dig scars… I heard that somewhere.

    ETW- Eeeewwww!!!! I just can’t.

    Mike- Your kidney scar is waaaay coool for sure.

    PPD- That pic gives me the chillies.

    RC- You and your home remedies of bodily fluids… Ewwww. But that’s why I love ya.

    Jackie- The boy at my house is absolutely rancid.

    Ron- Muy impressivo.

    MJ- It’s my ass, babe 🙂

  11. my mom had her knee replaced last fall~~and only regretted it a few times during the beginning of therapy~~just make sure he knows he’s got to force it to bend when it gets that time (it helped my mom if i pushed back on her bended knee once therapy started) said i was easier than therapy

  12. It looks like a shark attack!
    Will his knee make that Steve Austin sound (D-D-D-D-D-D) when itI’s healed and he’s jumpin’ over the garage?

    So you like TOOTIN’ yer own horn do ya?
    Do you plan on having more Degrees than a thermometer? I think that is totally awesome..because you seem to be a real searcher..and very clever..maybe a little too clever…hmm…

    oh what the hell..
    1 I had my bunions removed and I have HUGE manly scars on the side of my feet which went completely flat after the operation.

    2 I wouldn’t need to take off my shoes to count the number of ‘partners’ that I have had the pleasure of disrobing…I’m 50 and still haven’t had a threeway! How pathetic is that? Oops wait a minute…um…

    3 I can tell you the blood pressure of a Giraffe but I have no idea where my f*cking car keys are…sh*t where are my keys?

    4 I have been in two local TV commercials, neither of which catapulted me to fame and riches on the big screen.

    5 I am a bordeline Omnivore because I could eat steak for every meal..a real meat N potatos type guy..oh crap, should I have spelled that with an E like Dan Quayle?

  13. I’d like to thank the makers of Coors Lite for this award, without them, I could not blog drunk.

    Thanks CAT !!!!

    peace
    #2

  14. rantingdiva Says:

    Charlene- Hey girl! I feel like a drill sergeant!! Bend the knee Big T!!!!

    Donn- Baby if I don’t toot it, who will???

    Sista #2- Coors Lite is proud today, girl!

  15. Aaaaaw. Poor Big T’s knee! Hope he has a speedy recovery.

    Congrats on the award. You REALLY deserve it.

    Oh, and my camera is strapped to my inner thigh at all times so I am forever prepared for any and all photo-ops!!

    xxoooo

  16. Never understood why they slit it down the middle where it will bend and hurt like shit…why not cut up the side so when they’re finished it at least won’t hurt so much to start walking!

  17. That surgical scar was slightly disgusting.

  18. LOL @ meleah! I hope she has the lens facing the right direction!

  19. did I mention how much I loved the title to this post?

    HYSTERICAL.

  20. Aw thanks for the award, Sweetie! And congrats! You rock! The knee is ouchie. Yikes! I love Wasabi peanuts and almonds. Haven’t tried the peas. I will soon. 🙂

  21. Niiiiice scar! Vitamin E Oil massaged in after it heals will make it even prettier. Hubby’s got 2 matching ones. The coolest part was the blood and pus drain hanging from the wound for 3 days. –fcm

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