Poopie Diapers, Baby Barf & Formula

An open letter to the stupid little girls at Gloucester High School in Gloucester, Mass.

Dear Soon-to-be Teenage Moms of Gloucester High,

Question.  Have you lost your ever loving little minds?

Question.  What the fuck were you thinking making a pregnancy pact?

Question.  Did you even consider for one second what this will do to the rest of your family?


It’s not cute.  It’s the absolute stupidest thing I have ever in my life heard.

Being pregnant is only the beginning of this.  Sure, you’ll all wear maternity clothes and think you’re so cute.

Then there’s labor.  Have fun with that. 

Do you realize what happens when you give birth?

Not only does an object as big as a bowling ball come out your va-jay-jay, no.

Then the fun starts, ladies. 

Yes, oh, yes.  Fun, fun, fun.

Trust me here.  I became a lovely teen mom at the ripe old age of 15.

So, this is experience talking.

How do you plan to pay for formula, diapers, A & D ointment, bottles, wipes, clothes… all the things your child will need?

Do you plan to finish school or be drop-outs and go on welfare so that all of you can just sit at the park and let your little dirt monkies run around wild while you collect a check and the rest of us pay for them?

Do you really expect this to be a great time?  There will be snotty noses, sleepless nights, shitty diapers, uncontolled crying fits… and that’s just when they are little.

Then they grow up to be intellegent like you and they sass, backtalk, get on drugs, get pregnant.

Want to go out with your friends? Good luck with that.  You have a kid now.

Just because people like Jamie Lynn Spears did it??  At least she has the money to pay for a nanny.

It’s not like in the movies. 

A young girl I know just had a baby, luckily she graduated first.  She’s 17.

Did she think her life was going to change?   Not so much.   Did it change?  Oh hell yes it did.

She can’t just pick up and go to the amusement or water park anymore.

She can’t just go to the movies anymore.

Not only do you have to find a babysitter, but you also have to have the money.

Her money is now spent on diapers and clothes and formula.

Unfortunately, your school is not the only school playing this little game.

It’s an epidemic of sorts.

The above mentioned young lady, she said that it happened at her school too.   My old school.  22 pregnancies in one year.

I wish you all the best in your life.  I hope you don’t drop out, and I hope you are able to make something of yourself.

Me, I struggled to raise my daughter.  I didn’t have a social life.    I was 30 years old before I was able to enroll in college and finish.

Life isn’t over, girls, but it’s gonna be a long row to hoe.


31 Responses to “Poopie Diapers, Baby Barf & Formula”

  1. Long row to hoe?

    Aren’t they hoes already?

    Also..Gloucester is known for it’s fishing industry…

    …think it’s sheer coincidence that the town smells like that?

  2. Wow….there really are no words.

  3. I can’t even imagine. I was 29 when Buddy was born and I was scared witless over that. I kept thinking, “i’m not ready for this.” Even though I wanted him very badly and tried hard for him.

    Even if you were a non-traditional student, I’m glad you had the opportunity to further your education and took advantage of it. These girls could learn from your example.

  4. Amen, sistah!

    They have no idea what’s coming at them.

  5. You’re so right on not being able to pick up and go anywhere. I would go to my friends house when my Little niece was a baby and it seriously almost took them an hour to pull their shit together to run 5 minutes away for a few minutes. I have a hard time believing that the Spears pregnancy started this stuff I mean I can see a celebrity getting me to use a different tooth paste, but I have a hard time seeing them convincing people to get pregnant….

  6. royters Says:

    Barack Obama will solve all these problems!

  7. royters Says:

    How? Don’t ask . . .

  8. OMG!!!



    I’M SERIOUS!!! There is so much awesomeness in this letter that people…especially these fucking-numb-nut girls AND their parents need to see it!!! Where the hell were the parents in all this???!!! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Okay, I think I’m okay now…wow, thank you for this letter and for revealing a side of yourself that is deeper, and can truly speak to this situation.

  9. First of all I’m just glad this didn’t happen in my home state of Arkansas. Normally shit like this happens here or somewhere in the South and we get to hear all the “barefoot and pregnant” jokes and crap like that.

    Second, I’m a little amazed at the muted response from the US media. I know they are completely consumed by the election, but holy crap! This isn’t just a “two minute mention on the nightly news” type story.

    And, lets be honest here. If this had happened in a inner-city school and the girls had all been black and poor instead of middle class whites, the media would be spending much more time on this and the faux outrage machines would be running overtime.

    Anyway, where the hell have these kids parent’s been?

  10. they should watch that reality show that sticks ‘the perfect young couple’ with a kid and they have to take care of it for a week ….stupid stupid girls..and where are the guys in this deal?..and the parents?..were they all out to lunch…sigh* makes me want to bip the crap out of them..

  11. Wow…I heard this on the news. I couldn’t agree with Random Chick more. You soo need to send this letter to Time Magazine. I could comment, but I was 27 when I had my first (and only thus far). I wasn’t ready then…it’s not easy to raise a child these days. What are these girls thinking? They haven’t got a clue!!!

  12. Too bad you couldn’t have told them this before they so stupidly got knocked up.

  13. none of them are mine!!!!!!!!!
    i was there but damn only 7 of them slept with me!

  14. wait, but that sounds so awesome.

    omg…I wish you could just send this to the principal of their school!

    You totally should.

  15. I am still shaking my head at this whole situation….but I am laughing my ass off at your post about it!


  16. “Do you plan to finish school or be drop-outs and go on welfare so that all of you can just sit at the park and let your little dirt monkies run around wild while you collect a check and the rest of us pay for them?”

    I’d bet thats exactly what 90% of them will do. I think they should all be forced to have abortions and be spayed for being soooooo fuckin retarded, I mean a pact to have babies just to have them come on. Yeah the abortion part may be harsh but thats how I feel about it, sorry if I’ve offended but if I wanted to pay for raising kids I’d have my own.

  17. Oh my goodness, what an absolutely stupid thing to have done. And yes, all you say is right – you speak from experience after all.

    My mother was also an underage parent (she was 15 when she had me) and she spent my whole childhood blaming me for how I had ruined her opportunities. Well, that is being a bit harsh – she was a good mother – but that was always there as an undercurrent and it is not a good way to grow up. She also tried to live her life through my sister and I and made us think that the only way we could make up for what she wasted was by being super-achievers ourselves. That is a heavy burden to carry.

    But yes, for young mothers life must be very very hard. I was 22 when I had my first child and that was too young. I missed out on a lot of things and wish I had waited.

  18. Can’t we just extend capitol punishment for people who are stupid? Would save the rest of us a lot of trouble and money.

  19. STupid bitches!!!
    They need to go back and interview these losers when their kids are teens!! HA!


  20. Doesn’t matter what ya do or what ya say …. the kids today have lost the plot completely and the law is on their side……….BUGGA!

  21. groovymomster Says:

    My teenaged niece had a baby. It didn’t change her life much, but it sure changed my mom’s who is now raising her GREAT granddaughter. Sad. Sad. Sad. Incredibly selfish on my niece’s part too. My husband and I would love to adopt the baby, but my niece insists she’s going to step up and be the mommy. Hasn’t happened yet.

  22. The question has been asked a few times in these comments … “Where are these kid’s parents?” … Well soon they will be caring for their grandkids while their own kids grow up. It’s a little scary knowing what a great job did did with their own and will now probably raise the grandkids much the same. So the more important question may be … Have the parents of these teenage girls learned anything from this?

  23. jacksmynde Says:

    You had me at vajayjay.

  24. Happy 4th Of July Weekend. I hope you’re having fun!

  25. Sent you an email.

  26. Good post Miss Diva!

    I see enough teen pregnancies at work. What’s REALLY sad is when they come back every year and medicaid won’t pay for them to have their tubes tied until they’re 21! One time is a mistake, but every other time as a teen???

  27. When I first heard this I was like “WTH”. Those girls are foolish and stupid….an overabundance of foolishness and stupidity…

    They needed to hear from experienced people such as yourself who went through it….

  28. Right on, right on….I can’t believe how “glam” these girls think it is…..I had friends that were teenage mothers and I can’t even imagine. It’s hard enough to be a parent as an adult let alone a child yourself….geeze! Now they have girls making pacts….what is this world coming too?
    Thanks for layin it out like it should be….xoxo

  29. I hear about these things and I wonder… where the hell were their parents?

  30. Must be all that Mercury those Mass folks consume in those fish sticks.

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