An Occifer, A Porn Star & The Internetz

Let’s start with some shameless self promotion.  Come see my picture blog,  pleeeaze.   One picture per day of something or somewhere super swell.  

 End shameless self promotion attempt.

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Say, did you hear the one about the Tennessee State Trooper and the Porn Star???

Sounds like the start of a really bad joke, huh?

Actually, it’s funnier than a room full of Michael Jackson impersonators whipping each other with wet spaghetti noodles….  

AND it’s no joke.

James Randy Moss, of the Tennessee Highway Patrol, had an anonymous complaint filed against him by a cupie doll named Justis Richert in Nashville, TN.

We here in beautiful KnoxVegas should be proud to boast that Justis, a.k.a. Barbie Cummings *snicker*, is a Knoxvillian. Let’s pause and give Barbie some well-deserved kudos. She makes our community proud by being a big-time porn star who makes her living by flying back and forth to the City of Angels to shoot her fair share of scenes.

I would now like to paraphrase for you how the skinny goes down:

Occifer Perv-A-Lot (OP): Hey sexy, can I see your license & registration?

[Queue Saxaphone Music]

Local Porn Queen (LPQ): Why yes occifer. Here’s my license and registration.

OP: Well, these seems in order. (Hiking up pants, Barney style) Miss Richert, do you have any drugs on you or in your ride?

LPQ: Why hell yes I do. Want some? They are my happy pills, they make me happy and extremely horny. Oh, by the way, I’m a porn star. I can rock your world, baby.

OP: Realllllly now? You aren’t just saying that to get my manhood roaring and to get me into some serious trouble later?

LQP: Oh, no, occifer. I wouldn’t do that in a million and one years. Don’t you have a lappytop in your crusie-woosie. I can show you my work. By the way, my stage name is Barbie Cummings. *snicker*

OP: Well, first, Miss Cummings *snicker*, you’ll need to give me those pills so I can fix your problem. (OP scatters dim pills in da bushes) Now lets take a little stroll on back to my cruiser and we’ll see just how good you really are. How’s that sound?

LQP: Well, okay. I think that was really neat what you did.

(Getting into the cruiser and turning on lappy)

OP: Wow, girl. Look at you go. Say, what’ll it take for a nasty, middle aged, perv with a badge to get up next to a sweet thang like you?

LQP: Jeez, I don’t know. Maybe if you tape it with your cruiser camera so I can remember you.

OP: Fine by me.

Some various acts of a sexual nature were captured by Occifer DipShit as he rolled tape. You know Barbie might have fear of performing action without the lights and cameras.

To make a long story even longer, this guy gives her a copy of the tape…. Where she….you guessed it… POSTED IT ON HER WEBSITE FOR ONE AND ALL TO SEE….  ( No linkies are to be found… they pulled it).

I wonder if this would actually be one of the lamest things I’ve heard?

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13 Responses to “An Occifer, A Porn Star & The Internetz”

  1. Wow…….just wow. And you failed to include the website address for those interested in seeing what, exactly, “inbreeding” involes and/or looks like. For shame.

  2. And now I know where that old saying came from.

    I was going to be a cop, but decided to finish 3rd grade instead.

  3. Damn no link love so we can see the video?? Damn you woman!

  4. This actually happened?!?! OMG there is hope yet that a hot nympho will deliver my pizza and have wild crazy sex with me.

  5. How stupid is that guy?

    Only thing he can do is lose 20 pounds shave the stache and try to get a job in Arizona.

    Knot

  6. I was fascinated by this story back when it happened. We sure raise ’em good in Tennessee! While checking out her website (purely for educational purposes) I found that she certainly has a preference for black dong and cream pies. In the four minute video i watched she mentions wanting to have a “black baby” quite frequently. It sure looks like she’s trying dang hard to get her wish…

  7. Just goes to show . . .what happens in KnoxVegas should STAY in KnoxVegas. Damn!

  8. LMAO. That is the funniest thing I’ve heard all day. What an asshat that cop was! I wonder how he explained that one to the wife, “I got fired today because….” *giggle*
    And SHE sounds like a real winner. 🙂

  9. Unreal. They really do think with their johnsons, don’t they?

  10. What a dumb ass, I bet she woulda done the deed for him just to get out of the ticket without the video so its his own fault he got fired. 😮

  11. I have a new respect for the law.

    I didn’t really want to…but now I have no choice.

  12. Oh come on now….we all want to see the video!

    You are no fun!

    Us old people need to get our jollys somehow.

  13. Guess the occifer jus’ grajeeated from the School of Hard Knox.
    This is almost dumb enough to be an urban myth..but then again…sure beats a fifty dollar bill ‘stuck’ in the driver’s license.
    WTF and then he gives her the tape?
    He should have seen that one ‘cummings’ from a mile away…
    PP is right, find that video!!

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