Viking Sperm with Personality & Toy Schnoodles

Let’s start out here with a quote, shall we?

Dane is a tall, blond and athletic young man. He is outgoing, fun with a masculine build and sounds like the life of any singles party. Dane isn’t in a dating mode, though. But his sperm is for sale.

viking sperm

So, the story goes a little somethin’ like this…  The Danish and their masculine, hung like a bear, stamina of a racehorse, viking type men….  are pimping out their jiz swimmers spooooge sperm.

No, that’s not even really the entire story… the story is that those strappin vikings are pimpin their man juice in the U.S. market.   

No shit, the place is a scandanavian cryobank in Manhattan.   Apparently there’s a huge demand for danish dude man juice over here.  Who woulda thunk?

The story goes on to say the demand is created by U.S. women stereotyping the danish daddy-o types as being civilized, sensitive & handsome.  

Well, ok then.

They go on and on and on about how VIKING SPERM is just the sperm you need to have a big, bold, mac daddy baby. 

These people at Scandanavian Crybank, in essense, claim to be gods… as it appears your baby will be made to order.

It’s kind of the same as these psychos that mix various animal types to come up with something new and exciting.

Let’s say, for shits and giggles…. we mix a toy poodle and a schnauzer…. we get a schnoodle.



But I’m assuming Danish Viking Babies will be much cuter than a schnoodle…

For a mere $275 USD, you can obtain one injection of Danish Sperm. 


I wonder if that includes a roll in the hay with Mads, the only hot viking master?

viking sperm mads mikkelsen 

The whole thing gives me the heebeejeebees.


Oh yah, in regards to the whole female blue-balls syndrome, my good friend Moooooog from Mental Poo has offered some amazing insight.

Hop right on over there and try to talk him into guest posting at WebMD


15 Responses to “Viking Sperm with Personality & Toy Schnoodles”

  1. Now I know what Jay is going to spending his weekend doing!!

  2. The Scandanavian populations also have a higher incidence of neural tube defects (spina bifida, anencephaly, etc.) But, I think both parents need to be of that descent to up the odds on that stuff. Depends on what kinda chances one wants to take, I suppose. :-/

  3. My questions is can I peddle my spliggle splam?
    I mean come on everyone knows my swimmers are obviously the most sought after seed in the south……
    Here ya go,
    average intelligence
    balding @ 36
    propensity to over indulge
    addictive personality
    insatiable sexually
    average looking
    cracka tendencies.
    how much ladies?????

  4. I’ll offer my good Irish American man juice for $100.


  5. Im with you on the heebeegeeebee’s

  6. Don’t tell Wifey about this. I get the feeling that if she knew about this, I would end up raising someone else’s kid.

  7. hey i just wanted to say THANKS for stopping by my place.

    dang vasectomy … who knew i was ruining such a fantastic business opportunity … well, guess just have to go back to buying lottery tickets!

  8. I went to that Sperm Bank & I’m three months pregnant now. I can’t tell my husband who is Norwegian descent. I just had to have a Dane.

  9. i probably wouldn’t let anyone know but i too would peddle my juice. the clinic would probably get tired of seeing me cause i swear i’d be trying to see a million dollars. lol.

    funny post.

  10. $275 for Danish Dude Man Juice???!!!

    Why, that’s a bargain basement steal!!! I’m a get me some of that!!!

    (you know, just in case).

  11. mmm Im wonder if there is a market for redneck squigglers…))))

  12. Seems like a lot to pay, heck if their swimmers are all that why should you pay for the entire “load”. You would think they could just harvest 1 sperm and it should be more than enough to do the job when released. LOL

  13. Personally, I would prefer me some Italian sperm over Viking sperm…


  14. That guy in that last picture is WAY sexy

  15. rantingdiva Says:

    Leighann- Jay has remained oddly silent on this post….

    ETW- I’d do Mads in a heartbeat… but I wouldn’t want his sperm.

    Sage- Oh come on now. You’re hawt even if you ain’t a viking.

    Edge- Sold.

    Meleah- Just creepity it all is.

    AngryMan- I’ll not say a word to her if you pay me enough.

    Pusher- Damn the luck, huh?

    C.Rag- You’re secret’s safe here, honey. LOL

    Don- Very enjoyable way to make a mil though.

    Krissy- I don’t want it even if they were givin it away.

    Robert- I’m 100% sure there’s a market for it.

    Ron- Ooooh, good point.

    Bella- You and me both, girl!

    Meleah- Yah, I’d hit it…. at least twice.

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