Legal Cannibalism?

I just about poked my eye out with my mascara wand when I heard about a bill Tim Burchett  sponsored last year which would allow any adult (over 21) driver of a motorcycle to ride legally without a helmet.

Well, now there’s a really good idea. I’m really a simple minded girl.

But, the possible outcome of letting a bunch of YA-hoo’s run rampant on the roads with nothing there to protect what brains God gave them doesn’t sound all to smart.


Scenario: Let’s jump onto a land missile, gun it up to 125mph, dart in and out of traffic, and hope with all that’s good, that we don’t get into an accident wherein we fly off of the motorcyle, sail 100 feet through the air, land on or whack our head and spill our brain out all over the road for everybody that passes by to see.

Burchett, who is a Rep. senator from Knoxvegas, was catapulted to fame with his “We should have the right to scoop up that possum from the side of the road and eat it” bill of 1999.


So, within this rant I wish to pose two questions:

1. If a dork on a crotch rocket decides to forego the helmet, gets in a horrific crash and subsequently dies, wouldn’t that, in theory, be considered natural selection?
Think about it, if a body is stupid enough to rip and roar down the freeway without some sort of protection on said head, should it be something that anybody else gives a shit about?

The stupid ones go to make way for the more intellectually superior? 

I mean, I have a cousin who is a complete idiot and who is all for tear-assing around at ultra-sonic rates of speed.  The guy is one of the morons you see on the interstate running no less that 85 MPH and then pops a half mile long wheelie…

Tell me he ain’t gonna end up road kill.

Not to imply that I think someone who rides with no helmet should go die, not at all. I’m just saying USE YOUR HEAD while you still have it to the ones who would even consider riding without some sort of protection on said head.

2. The second question that came to mind when considering this bill, along with the dipshit that supported it is this:

If we, in the Great State of Tennessee, are legally allowed to chow down on some tasty raccoon, possum, deer or whatever else may fly out in front of us, does that mean cannibalism of the dork-non-helmet-type- motorcycle rider is legal?

I don’t eat meat, so I gain nothing from this theory.  I’m just sayin.

17 Responses to “Legal Cannibalism?”

  1. Well to be honest if you wreck one of those things at 125 MPH the difference between wearing a helmet and not seems pretty minimal. I always like seeng the people that wear the helmets for safety, but have no shirt on and are in shorts. Ummm… OK you protect you head a little but you will have sanded every other portion of your body off. I’ve got no problem with the rider/owner of the bike taking their risks with their body, but I’ve seen these guys riding down the road with their kids on the back of the things and that just seems sooo NOT right.

  2. Never do your makeup while you listen to the news.

  3. I don’t care if someone wants to ride around without a helmet, but the taxpayers should have to pay to keep the vegetable alive for 20 years after he has an accident. And his insurance shouldn’t have to pay anything if he isn’t wearing a helmet either.

    Oh and anyone who has small kids who are totally dependent on him/her who rides without a helmet is stupid and taking a really unnecessary risk.

  4. Aahhhh, our tax dollars at work…it’s great to be an American! xo

  5. In my opinion edible road kill would be something big enough to get some salvageable meat from like deer or elk and though there might be enough left of an idiot from the above scenario to eat I think I’d pass on that one.

    AZ. has no helmet law but surprisingly most riders out here wear them, but yes we do have those morons who think their invincible.

  6. I say let the stupid people weed themselves out of the gene pool and go ahead ride a motorcycle (because just doing that will up the odds) and do it without a helmet. If you are stupid enough to do that, you should be dead anyway.

  7. I don’t really care whether it’s okay to eat a motorcycle dude who doesn’t wear a helmet.

    What I wanna know is can I eat a woman who doesn’t wear panties?

  8. I want to first commend you for going all out to make me happy! You not eating meat means… MORE FOR ME!!
    yeeeeee haaaaaaa
    more is always more better!

    we have n helmet law either. But if you choose to ride a vehicle that a house cat can wreck you on then how sharp were you to begin with??

  9. Every now and then when I am feeling brave, I drive across the border to Ohio. In Ohio you don’t have to wear a helmet. It just doesn’t look right somehow, but to each his own I suppose.

  10. “1. If a dork on a crotch rocket decides to forego the helmet, gets in a horrific crash and subsequently dies, wouldn’t that, in theory, be considered natural selection?”

    HELL YES! amen.

    man I love it when you are pissed!


  11. rantingdiva Says:

    Ron- I saw a guy laying in the middle of the road Friday. No kidding, he had a helmet on, but was wearing shorts.. His legs and arms were all jacked up.

    Fab- Yah, I learned my lesson. I’ll wait til I’m in the car sitting in traffic.

    Jay- I agree 100%.

    PPD- Road kill legislation… oh yah.

    Truckingdogs- Yep. Invincibiility is what gets them into trouble.

    Random Chick- Indeed, you are so right.

    Riff- Oh. My. God.

    Sage- Anything to make you happy, baby.

    Mike- Yah, free will is unique to everybody.

    Wyld- I’m glad you agreed with me.

    Meleah- I stay pissed, mamas!

  12. thanks for visiting my blog on my birthday!!
    Your post was HIGH larious!!

  13. What sort of side dishes would go with Splattered Motorcycle Rider?

  14. I say the morons that don’t wear a helmet ARE using their head…….to cushion the impact of man vs. tree.

    Natural selection = good thing.

  15. […] driver of a motorcycle?to ride legally without a helmet. Well, now there??s a really good idea. I?? in the Pines ‘race’ fills bikers’ need for speed The Longview News-JournalTaking a ride on the […]

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