The Married Kind

Oh, crap!

I snatched up this married folk meme… but honest to Christ, I can’t remember who the hell I jacked it from.

So, if you did this meme, and you think I stole it from you, please feel free to claim your fame and accept my most sincere apologies for being senile.  Gracias.

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What is your spouse’s name?   Big T

How long have you been married?
Damn near 7 months, but it seems like we’ve been married since Jesus was a baby.

 

How long were you together before you got married?
A whole year and 14 days.  It was sort of a whirlwind courtship.  That poor dork proposed after 6 weeks of my wit and charm.  Poor guy.

Where did you get married?
In a church.  Like that was gonna help things…   If I had it to do over again, we’d be flyin to Vegas, rentin a convertible, and goin to the drive-thru chapel of love where Elvis could officiate.  After which, we’d grab E and anybody else who wanted to come and go to Ellis Island Casino & Brewery for obscene drinkin and karaoke.

 

Where did you propose or were proposed to?
Sitting on his lap in my room

Have you ever been married before your current marriage?
Yep.  Was married for many moons to a person I thought I could change/make better if I just gave it enough time and tried tirelessly to work things out.  So, in the end I learned a huge lesson.

Who “wears the pants” in the house?
I let him wear them.  I look better in skirts and flip flops.

Who is the “bread-winner”?
Uh, we both work because with two houses (both of which have mortgages) there is no way that we could afford me to stay home, watch Jerry and eat bon-bons.  I mean, once I’m promoted to Master of the Universe, he can quit his job and crawl flea markets full time.

 

Do you have any children?
We have a total of four heathens.  Two teenagers  and two outta the house!  Well, one is trying to creep back in because life has proven to be too much for one of them. 

 

Do you have any Pets?
A cat with a personality disorder and two dogs with one brain between them. 

 

How many times a week do just the two of you go out?
At least once a week, he takes me out for a night of obscene drinkin and karaoke.

Do you have separate checking accounts?
Yah, because only we’re both too damn lazy to go do the paperwork to merge them at one bank or the other.

What side of the bed do you sleep on?
Uh, well, if you’re standing at the foot of the bed, it would be the right side. 

Who does the laundry?
He’s Mr. Particular about the precise way his jeans are folded and creased and shit.  He does his own laundry because of it.  I mean, I’m anal retentive about wrinkles and stuff and he puts me to shame.

 

Who cooks?
I cook 78.3% of the time.

He does 9.2% of the time. 

We go out the other 12.5% of the time.

 

Who cleans?
Me and the girl are the only two that do anything around the house most of the time.  The boy sits on the computer at all times and Big T sits on the couch.

Do you share a vehicle or each have your own?
Gots our own.

Do you get along with your in-laws?
Yah, they are sweet and they crack me up.

 

 

Do you argue with your spouse?
All the damn time.  I now believe that if we aren’t arguing, we wouldn’t get along at all.

 

Are you good at pampering?
Yah, I wish he was as good at it as I am.

Name one thing you would change about your spouse?
Sex drive.  He needs to be puttin out!!

Do you own a home or rent a place?
We are in debt until Jesus comes back because we have 2 houses with a mortgage each. Lovely!

 

*******************************************************************

And that, my friends, is that.  I wish there was more to say than just jacking a random meme…

But no.

I’ll be scarce until late next week.  I’m headed to the Great State of Alabama for three days of glorious screw, nut and bolt counting.  I’m so excited I could piss myself.

I’ll be sure to take my camera.

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12 Responses to “The Married Kind”

  1. Awwwww – nudely-weds! 🙂 I remember those days… kinda. I’m a wee bit foggy after huffing bug spray trying to kill carpenter bees outside. Enjoy Alabama – don’t say anything bad about it – that’s where I was born. And you know the saying “Stars Fall on Alabama”? They made that up when I was born.

  2. Do they make you call the bolts “cap screws?”

    These are very funny answers! I’m not a big fan of memes, but you done good with this ‘un!

  3. Loved that Meme. If I was still married I’d do it.
    But I’m FREE AS A BIRD!!!
    Wow, do I know about being married for many moons to someone you’re trying to change…

    Never works.

  4. hehe
    great answers!
    tell that boy to hang the jeans and get down to Bizzness!

  5. Great meme. I may have to come back and steal this one. Hopefully I will remember who I stole it from.

  6. Scew it you can still do the Ellis Island Casino thing ..if you do I’m in for the drinking your self stupisd part..I haven’tdone that in Vegas for awhile…:))))… PS the only way to get rid of heathens is to send them away for a weekend and then move…:))))

  7. awww…..thats a lovely ‘married people meme’ you answers are hilarious.

    “A cat with a personality disorder and two dogs with one brain between them.”

    &

    “Are you good at pampering?
    Yah, I wish he was as good at it as I am.”

    HA HA HA HA HA

  8. Screw and nuts!
    woooooooooooooo hoooooooooooooo
    alabama huh??
    damn I was there last week
    have fun!

  9. Aw, Diva! I LOVED that!!!

    Such a nice wedding pic too! Thanks for sharing all your secrets to a happy marriage!

    AND, if you get bored in the great state of Bama (not MY words!), come visit me! We’ll sit out on the back porch and drink sweet tea!

    =) bella

  10. Oh my GOODNESS you made me giggle half way through the first sentance… as a feller married gal ya know. Two years this 5/20/08… uf da.

    Ofcourse I love him ya know….

    HUGS fellow married gal! You crack me up.

    Mon

  11. I let him wear them. love the emphasis shown to the term, “let.” you do have a point.

    lol @ change his sex drive.

    nice family pic. i remember when i was younger and i thought about the countless times i could return home. during those times, as you stated, where life proved to be a little too much for me.

  12. rantingdiva Says:

    ETW- I love that saying… I love Alabama, it’s not bad at all… other than the fact that they ain’t got UT VOLS here!

    Strat- The memes come out when I go brain dead and can’t think!

    Krissy- You Go Girl!

    Sage- I’ve told, I’ve told!

    Mike- Oh shit! Did I snag this from you?

    Robert- Duly noted advise!

    Meleah- I just love it when I make you giggle!

    Sage- I’m gonna get nekkid at space camp tomorrow.

    Bella- Are you in Huntsville??? Come see me!

    Monica- We are two of a kind, girl!

    Don- Thanks! Sometimes it can be a huge load!

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