Travel Ho, Hula Hoops & Gangster Roots

As much as I hate it, I’m stumped. 

I have nothing even remotely fun to share in story form.  But I’ve got random crap that I can spew forth… for what it’s worth.


I was over visiting Mushy’s Mooching’s, as Mushy is one of my most favoritest people who is one of my local, home grown, good ol’ East Tennessee bloggin’ buddies.  He had a linky to this mappy of the U.S.

Check it out down there.  The red states are places I’ve been.  Who friggin knew.

A well, travelled Beyach, no?  I suppose I could qualify as a Travel Ho.

I really hadn’t been anywhere at all before I took this elustrious position at this here creme of the crop company that I’ve had the pleasure of selling my sould for working for over the last eight years.

The whoop ass part of business travel, is that I get to do what ever tickles my fancy in the city in question when I’m not pimpin our shit  drinking with our customers working.

Usually this means I find the local karaoke bar.


I’ve known since I was a kid that I ama great, great niece of Bonnie Parker, the lady who brought class to the Clyde Barrow Gang. 

But, I didn’t realize that I have the same birthday as her until I was reading about likes & dislikes at Minus the Bars (another blog I dig on).  

So, I googled Bonnie & Clyde, when I found out low & behold, we share a birthday.

The things ya find out on Google.


Ohhh, yah.  The job op.

Well, my little piece of heaven from 9-5, Monday through Friday had been sort of… how to say it….fucked up lately.

Really, it has. 

You see, it’s hard to survive in the cut throat, crash & burn Biotech world when ya only have one lil thing to pimp. In addition to when ya sell ’em to everydamnbody and they never break or quit working it saturates the market.

Anyhoo, it seems our boss plans to take-over two other companies in the next few months.  Wooohoooo, Corporate. Take. Overs. Rock.

YES!  It’s called right place, right time.

Anyway, I put my resume in for the Master of the Universe position and it seems that it has been considered and approved.

Go me!


It’s a miracle!  A fluffy, middle-aged gal like me is gonna be able to hula hoop again soon!

I saw it with my own eyes on Good Morning America!!!

Well, apparently the newest version of the Wii has some really cool features.

Like hula-hooping, or doing Yoga…

But honestly, if I’m gonna act like I’m doing these things, I’d rather actually do ’em…

What’s next????  Wii Freaky Sex Acts IV???

Like Hula-Hooping, these are things I’d rather do for reals than to act it out with no gratification. 


I was at my favorite deli, Nixon’s,  the other day to partake of my favorite sammich, when the girl behind the counter said to me, “Wow, you smell really good.”

Me:  *blink* “Really?  Is it the hairspray, the cigarrette smoke, or the dog?”

I think she regretted being nice to me, although I wasn’t coming off as bitchy as much as I was in shock.  I think it was the hairspray.  It smells like Fruit Loops.


And that’s all she wrote.  This is the random crap that’s popped into my mind over the past few days for one reason or another. 

Useful information?  No.

I’ll be back to my witty self in two shakes of a lamb’s tail.


25 Responses to “Travel Ho, Hula Hoops & Gangster Roots”

  1. Well, who doesn’t love the smell of Fruit Loops?

    Freaky Sex Acts IV on Wii, might be kinda cool . . . or it might be kinda freaky . . .

  2. LOL, You smell like fruit loops and will soon be a master of the universe, how nice for you.

  3. Wow, you should have said something like “I just washed my cooter” or something like that.

    I would have.

    Ok, I would have thought it.

  4. Good luck on the Master of the Universe job! Boy, do I know about sucky 9-5 jobs…I’m in the software industry and that is a shark-eat-shark world. Read my sad story here:

    (like you have nothing better to do).

    Anyway, when you get the chance, stop by my blog, I’m having a Caption Conest…c’mon, give it a wing ding!!!

  5. “I have nothing even remotely fun to share in story form”


  6. roadredneck Says:

    please no don’t tell me Wii sex..this has got to stop..:)) those techies are ruining everything

  7. rantingdiva Says:

    Strat- Fruit Loops smell delightful, I love it.

    Ron- Why thank you, Pardner.

    Jam- Are you spying on me or sumfin?

    Random- I’ll be right over!

    Meleah- Sux, huh?

    Redneck- I just love you!

  8. Master of the Universe is a pretty cool job title. I’d be putting that on my business cards pronto!

  9. I was in line behind two women the other day that smelled really good. The good smell stayed with me all day long. It’s amazing how some smells just linger.

  10. Can I touch you?

    How YOU doin?


  11. Hoola Hooping is hawt. Consider the Wii as practice. I am totally digging that fruity master of the universe image. Almost as good as hoola hooping. Almost. 🙂

  12. Woooooo Weeeee! You really do smell good.
    Hoola hoopin` … I can’t do it because I get “less wide” on the way from my belly to my waist, and I have NO ass. Video, here I come. Great cat pic. – the one in the back looks like me 🙂

  13. I love Froot Loops, although not as much as Apple Jacks (which have very little to do with apples….). My son has a Wii and I’m actually looking forward to getting him the Wii Fit. 🙂

  14. Maybe you’re Bonnie’s reincarnation! Ever have fantasies about robbing a bank? 🙂

  15. I noticed lots of pussy on your site. Wacky.

  16. Congrats on the job opp! I knew you had a little wild streak in ya…now I know where it came from! ;O

  17. I see you’ve been to my state! No wonder it stinks so much here…

  18. i didnt know boitech was that cut throat. nice spot u have her folk

  19. I love ya no matter WHAT! 🙂

  20. AND….even if/when you are feeling uninspired….you still have THE BEST titles for your posts!!!

  21. Stopping in to say hello…. Hello Diva!!

    El Diablo Hollyton

  22. If my hair smelled like Fruit Loops, I would be bald because Big Dog devours all Fruit Loops (or things that smell like them) that he can find.

  23. checking in on you……….

  24. rantingdiva Says:

    Jay- They’re being printed as we type

    Mike- I get all warm and fuzzy at the smell of some colognes.

    Leighann- Only if you spank me after.

    Queenie- I like hula, but no sex by Wii !!

    Speedy- I could hula if I’d lay off the Taco Hell

    ETW- Mmmmm, Apple Jack hair. I’m gonna look into that.

    Tink- You bet I do, sister!

    wyldth1ng- I noticed your name is spelled crazy

    RLL- Genetics, babe!

    Dyck- Bite me

    rawdawg- Why thank ya, thank ya very much

    Olga- I loves you too!

    Speedy- What makes you think you’re el diablo? No se?

    Buzz- Dayum. My dogs don’t dig fruity smells.

    Meleah- Awwww. I loves ya!

  25. It’s the sugary crunchiness that lures Big Dog in. That dog’s got an awesome sweet tooth, but he’s not allowed any cause he’s the one with the butt problems whenever he snacks on people food.

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