Oh yah… It’s Always About Me… Ain’t it?

My beautiful girlfriend over at PERFECTLY PUNCH DRUNK took her turn to slap me on the ass today as she wants to know what makes me… well, me… how better than to do that than to slap my ass??

 

What I was doing 10 years ago:

Sweet Jesus.  I was still married to my first husband (Pizza Boy) and hating it, filed for divorce. 

I was working as an office assistant at my first office job which consisted of pre approving mortgages (wooo!)  and being a beer wench at UT home games (excellent tips and as much free beer as I could drink).  Was 26 years old, and losing my every loving mind (didn’t actually snap for a couple more years)

Five things on my To Do list for today:

 


1. Go home and grill some chicken baby… yah, i’s warm outside!

2. As it’s Friday, I’m waiting until 4:00.  We have an end of the week drinkie-drinkie here in the office.  And people wonder why I love my job.

3. Drink beer.  I have a case of Michelob Amber just waiting for me in the icebox when I get home. MMMMMM…. beeer.

4.  Got out and sing me some karaoke at my favorite watering hole.

5.  Go home after too much beer, get a shower and get laid.

Three of my bad habits:

I smoke, I drink and I cuss like a sailor. 

Don’t hate me cuz I’m obscene, k?  Thanks a bunch!

Five places I have lived:

1.  Carpinteria, California

2.  Santa Barbara, California

3.  Palm Springs, California (part time)

4.  Knoxville, Tennessee (Go VOLS! Woo!)

5.  Clinton, Tennessee

Five jobs that I’ve had:

1.  Burger flipper (16)

2.  Convenient store lackie (early 20’s)

3.  Paper pusher (mid 20’s)

4.  Mortgage broker (mid-late 20’s)

5.  Office manager (past 8 years)

BUT my life’s ambition is to be MASTER OF THE UNIVERSE!

BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

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18 Responses to “Oh yah… It’s Always About Me… Ain’t it?”

  1. You vulgar bitch!

    When you become Master of the Universe can I be your pet?

  2. Wow that is the highest percentage I have seen, Even higher than mental poo. Mine was 45% I cannot figure it out because every other word on my blog is fuck.

    eh, fuck it.

  3. rantingdiva Says:

    Leighann- Yes, you may call me V.B. and you will be my pet.

  4. rantingdiva Says:

    Jam- I think it’s all a fucking sham, myself. I clicked it once out of curiousity and got a 64 point something. Fuck ’em. *wink*

  5. Boy that little meter said I was pretty much a priest… I don’t really feel that goody two shoes, perhaps I could curse more darn it!!

  6. I tried that cuss-o-meter on my blog and it broke. 😉

  7. Are there openings for Master of the Universe?

  8. woooooooo hooooooooo @ and get laid!!
    hell do it twice!

  9. I think we need to have a cussing fest..it’s one of my favorite past times…:)))))

  10. I used to be Master of the Universe, but I tell you the responsibility just plain sucks ass. I’m stepping down. You want it, it’s yours.

  11. Can I be Leighann’s pet? hehehe! Can’t wait, Master!

  12. I LOOOVE grilling weather!!!

    Grilled chicken…
    Grillen kabobs…
    Grilled steak…
    Grilled veggies…
    grilled shrimp…

    Yum.

  13. You mean………you arn’t the Master of the Universe????

  14. I love a girl who drinks, smokes and cusses like a sailor. I’ve got a barstool with your name on it right next to me, Cat Dear…

  15. rantingdiva Says:

    Ron- I wish I wasn’t such a rebel sometimes!

    Jay- I was really shocked that mine rated so damn badly!

    Fab- YES! I found it on CraigsList!!

    Sage- You said it, pal!

    Mike- You name the time & place, I’ll be there!

    RLL- Of course you can! I’m sweet, not evil…

    Bella- You and me both, sister!

    Olga- Hard to believe, ain’t it?

    Krissy- I know, vugarity is so much fun when you have someone to share it with! I’ll be right there!

  16. i see that i am pretty much late for this one. but i will add that one thing it appears you definitely have a firm grip on – enjoying your life.

    that makes living so much more easier, doesn’t it?

  17. rantingdiva Says:

    Don- Hey baby! Better late than never and YES life is nothing if it can’t be enjoyed!

  18. Thanks Babe, loved it!! xo

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