Acceptance, Plotting of Revenge & Alton Brown

 Friends, I’ve been out done.

Yes, yes, it’s true.  Burrito Hollydale has out burrito’d me. 

I’m not happy about it but I’ve accepted that my gut can’t tolerate chihuahua as well as it once did.

Not to be a poor loser, or wish him any ill.  But I hope he still has the shits. 

And believe me when I say, Taco Bell aside, I can out Fiesta you anyday, Speedcat.

Hear me now, believe me later.



Olga, the Bodacious TATAS Bra, tagged me to do my Catscratch Divalicious Biography in six words or less….    Here we go….

 “Livin life holding my wine bottle”

 How’s that for havin goals???


Tell me… how is it possible to deny this man’s smile.

Not only is he a genius in the kitchen type environment, but he has a visual aid for everything.

What enspires this post, you may be asking…

(as we all know it’s unlike me to do anything other than bitch or talk about sex).

Well, not long ago, Jay over at Cynical Bastard posed the question to us all as to who the most wonderful food network star might be.

I’ve changed my view on dear Alton lately.  I voted for Emeril and Rachael Ray, but it was because I hadn’t given full credit to the man that makes the entire network tick.

He makes the Food Network worth watching.  How can you not love a man who is a culinary god.

He knows everything about everything in the kitchen and at my advanced age, that’s very attractive.

Fun in the kitchen, don’t ya know.  Put good use to those utensils.

Sexy in a kitchen nerd way.  I just love him.

Not only does he know recipes but he knows the science behind how food works.

Thanks to him, I now know how to use 2 large clay pots to slow smoke nearly anything during summer.

And what would Iron Chef America be without his sassy commentation?

So, I’m off to polish off this bottle of Pinot and watch my fella on Good Eats.



13 Responses to “Acceptance, Plotting of Revenge & Alton Brown”

  1. OMG!! I LOVE AB!! I DVR all his episodes, he makes me so happy. Between him and Bobby Flay, my husband would be in big trouble if I ran in to one of those hotties.

    I just love a man that can cook!!

  2. rantingdiva Says:

    Jam- We totally need a TV each, cuz he’s all CSI & SVU and I’m a FoodNetwork junkie! Do you have a blog??

  3. I got six to one on Speedy at the Vegas sports book.. I made out like a bandit….:)))))

  4. Alton Brown is great. I have his book “Food + Heat = Cooking” or something like that. I’m too lazy to look up the exact title. Anyway, his explanations and descriptions on how to do things and why are so awesome. Lots of great stuff from him in his other books too.

  5. I dont watch cooking shows….should I start?


  6. Sugar?
    This fellow is surely one of them homersexuals
    while I am all in with the homers I beleive they couldn’t do anything for ypou!!!!
    I’m just sayin!

  7. I love me some Paula Dean.

  8. I consider a “Taco Bell Challenge” as eating a Chalupa and then not having explosive diarrhea for the next two days.

  9. I love Alton too…my favorite activity is watching Alton on the road while eating my own bag of Veggie Booty. But how can you forget Food Network’s own Martha Stewart, Miz Sandra Lee? I love her fake boobs and blonde hair, and you just know that as soon as the cameras stop rolling, her smile fades into a wicked grimace and she starts calling everyone on her crew a “cunt”.

  10. Does your bra have a tag? ooops! I mean…..this bra has tagged YOU!

  11. I’m like a 3 Ring circus in the kitchen. Really, I should get my own show on the Disaster Network.

  12. ha ha ha ha ha …. I hope Speedy still has the shits too…. ha ha ha ha ha

  13. Yes, it seems that you and Meleah are right. I’m switching to doughnuts…
    For the record, I only ate 9 🙂

    El` Burrito!!!!!!

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