Alien Boogers, A Gauntlet Raised & Birthday Wishes

First… If anybody talks to or has access to Robert over at Observations From the Back 40…..  Tell him I’m hurt that he went all private and shit and didn’t even let a stinky fart to signal it. 

Have I been cut off??   Am I a Back 40 Outcast?

Say it ain’t so. 


So, a gauntlet was placed at my feet one day last week by our very own Speedcat “Loincloth” Holllydale.

 But we’ll get to that.

Thursday night is officially “Mommy & Me Night” for me and Miss A.  In otherwords, several hours of kickin it with the old fuddy-duddy she proudly calls Mother.

The night began with a leisurely ride to a mystery destination as I knew I would meet much protest from my darling mutant heathen teenager. 

Mind you, this is the same child that was recently suspended booted out of school for ditching.  Damn kid.   

She was grounded for just short of 3 weeks.  As far as she knows, she was grounded for actually ditching school.  Well, I suppose that was partially why she got grounded.

What really pissed me off is she was stupid enough to get caught.  I mean, I spent my high school years making a career of ditching.  Did I get caught?  No.

As far as I’m concerned, I don’t really want her to be doing stupid shit, but I also prefer if she pull dumb ass stunts that she not get caught.

But, whatever, she got caught and I’ve spent the last 2 weeks taking petty jabs at her for it.  Heh.  Grounded for more than 2 days as a teenager is the equivalent of eternity in hell. 

Tonight’s festivities started out with my forcing my child to get a real, honest to Christ manicure at a real honest to Christ nail salon.  She wasn’t amused.

Well, she showed some slight amusement at the color she picked for her all natural nails.

The bottle said ‘summer lime’ but I’m convinced that some nail color manufacturer in China kidnapped some aliens and milked their boogers into a nail polish bottle.

Nice color.

Then we go to Taco Hell… where we waited for at least 23 minutes for our feast when Miss A informs me that Dee Schnider (80s dude that just won’t go away) has a huge penis as pointed out to her the other day by her best friend.    That and that Robert Plant has a nice butt for an “old dude”.

Jesus….. wholesome conversations they have.

which brings me back to the gauntlet. 

It went down with the Master of Loincloth saying:

Eric “Speedcat Hollydale” Says:
March 3, 2008 at 7:16 am e

I could out burrito you any day … that’s a challenge. We could hold a muti-blog Taco Bell contest with HUGE prizes. I will be passing out cigars at my blog ….”

Ok, pal.  It’s officially on!  I’ll see your burrito.

 and me and Miss A, we’ll  raise by 2 hardshell tacos & rice with nacho cheeeeeese


 AND a masticated tostado (I’d already dug in when I remembered the challenge)


AND an order of nachos and cheese mixed with FIRE SAUCE

Of course, to wash this nasty, fat filled feast down was my typical Diet Dew.

 Touche’, touche’, I say to ya, old boy!


Lastly, but totally not leastly, I’d like to wish a HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the man that reveres  HOT AMERICAN BABES and Food Network Chefs!!


 I wish you the happiest of birthdays, my friend!  And I’d like to point out that you are officially middle aged.

20 Responses to “Alien Boogers, A Gauntlet Raised & Birthday Wishes”

  1. speedcat Says:

    In The Work Truck Now / On Phone / Will B Back 2night Diva!

  2. I never got caught either. I was always a good boy until my senior year. So, since I had this reputation of being a good boy I didn’t get caught or in any trouble. It always pissed people off too, which was part of the fun.

    Thanks for the birthday shout-out. I’m feeling kind of old. I might need to go take a nap now. 😉

  3. just looking at those tac hell pics made me have to poop
    I’m just sayin

  4. That taco hell feast is making me hungry. Dammit.

    Now all I can think about is a burrito supreme and a couple of steak soft tacos.

  5. Oh My God…I JUST SENT ROBERT an EMAIL asking WHY I havent been sent an invite and have I been banned? Seriously. What is UP with that!

    I know he wanted to take a break, so he might have switched to private temporarily. ??

    I will let you know as soon as I get to the bottom of it!

  6. Okay…. Now I read the whole post. I am cracking up because I would be more mad at my son for getting caught than actually playing hooky too!


    That nail polish…is CRAZY.

  7. LMAO at the Taco Bell pics…I’m rootin’ for YOU Diva!! Make us proud. 😛 That cracked me up.
    I never got caught ditchin’ school either, and it was HARD at my school. We had an attendence Nazi. I will never forget that bitch…but we never got caught.
    That nail color…WOW.

  8. It’s 12:30 a.m Diva and you’re showing pictures of Taco Bell. Don’t you know I’m starving, girl?!

    That nail polish totally rocks…kinda.

  9. Bugar Polish??? LMAO – looks like optic green Polish racing green Bugargreen (…a new flavor of gum??)

    When I was here earlier, I could not see the photos. Touche`!!! …. I will have a return post soon. Looks like I am off to the tobacconist and tacoville. hmmmm – (mind is cranking over some ideas)
    Happy birthday to Jay! Rockin` picture, without a doubt.

    Good to see you lika the fira sauca (mild sauce is for ******’*) LOL@ Southern Sage – how true

    Diva, this was an excellent post… barring that crazy looking fellow in the loincloth.

  10. rantingdiva Says:

    Speedy- I’m waiting patiently. This is good.

    Jay- I’m sure one day we’ll hear stories of your rebellion.

    Sage- I’ve had several poops since then.

    Meleah- I couldn’t get hold of his email address. He’s ditched his Fuel My Blog account, too. I sure pray he is alright.

    Meleah- The younger generation must properly understand the life lesson to be had here.

    Michelle- I really need to ditch Taco Hell, but its sooo good.

    Slick- Oh yah, got the midnight munchies? Me too.

    Speedy- Well, after much thought, I should have started off slower, but I think I’m good for at least one more. I wait to see what you will display for our culinary enjoyment.

  11. Scarlett Says:

    I like the nail polish, but not taco hell, I’m struggling with indigestion just looking at the pictures! It’s not that I don’t like spicy food mind you….it just does not like me!

    I have never even tried to play hooky at school…I am cursed with this inability to get away with…well, anything! I hope that my children have the same curse on them….mwuhahaha!

  12. Gawd…that Speedy looks SOOOOO HOT in his loin cloth, eh?!?!?

    I have heard from Robert (I have his email) & he assures me he is OK, just “trying to get his head around something & taking a break.” Sure, I am worried too, but I have to respect that he knows what he’s doing….So, just keep positive thoughts going for out Redneck Friend….hopefully he’ll be resurfacing again soon!

    I usually get 2 Taco Bell grilled taquitos & a diet Pepsi….I know, what a weenie, eh?!?

  13. rantingdiva Says:

    Scarlett- Me and TB don’t get along all too well, but I can’t resist. My daughter has sworn off ill doings after her eternity in her room.

    Olga- I’m so glad to hear he’s ok. I have faith in him, he’s a smart one, but it worried me that he was just, well, gone.

  14. Funny stuff. My standard recommendation for all parents of teens is “All-Boys-Military-Academy”. It worked on me and it’ll work for your heathen daughter.

  15. Found you…I’ll have to change all my links!

    Can Mushy be a Tom Cat too!

  16. I don’t know how you do it Diva. My toilet couldn’t handle Taco Hell’s wrath. Your asspipes must be made of steel.

  17. It ain’t so I just moved .. I had a little personal turmoil going on I needed to take care blog same old redneck

  18. rantingdiva Says:

    Troll- You know, that had never even crossed my mind. She’s actually a good kid, she just screwed up and I count my lucky stars everyday that she’s made it to 17 and not gotten into any real trouble.

    Mushy- Why ya!

    UW- Asspipes of steel… heh… you know it!

    Robert- Welcome back, darlin. I wasn’t tryin to be nosy, I was just concerned xoxo

  19. Yea Robert. Where’d the hell you been? You visited my site once and baled. Pffft. =)

  20. My reply is good to go …. |8~)

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