Diva Gone Wild

Admit it, you thought you were gonna clicky, clicky and see some boobage, huh?

Come on, you can tell me.

You got all excited thinkin Diva was flashin her rack again when you saw that post title.

You perv.

***************************************************

Maverick skirted the lines of perversion, but didn’t ask for specifics.

You’re such a good boy.

Only problem is that I had to think really hard. 

1) wildest thing u ve ever done??

Last spring, there were a bunch of us girls who used to run together.

You know, like a pack of wolves, only we were pirates.

Long story.

Well, for my grad-u-ma-way-shun, the Pirates decided to kidnap me.

Not only did they kidnap me, they forced me to drink lots of tequila.

Me + tequila = OH MY GOD

Anyways, they all chipped in and took me to see Chippendale’s.

Reeeeow!

“What?  You’re looking for a volunteer to come on stage?

Why, yes.  I’d love to.”

I have no shame. 

Sad thing…

All I can really remember is how white his teeth were.


2) kinkiest thing tht u like to do?
Well, I’m not a total kink freak.  I like to play on the non-painful, non-hogtied end of the kink scale.Kink scale from 1 -10,I’ll be rankin around That’s assuming the stars are lined up right and all.However, being blindfolded with one’s hands bound is exciting.

Especially since one doesn’t know what’s coming next.

The kink comes in when candle wax hits my skin.

Painful:  Nah. 

There’s a fine line between kinky and outright painfully wrong. 

3) platform heels or stilettoes?

Stilettoes are totally friggin sexy.

BUT…

I can’t walk in them.

I have a closet full of platform sandals and shoes.

Which if dressed up right can be sexy too.

*****************************

Buzzardbilly is curious about Big T and if he wears Mr. T golden bling.

Big T doesn’t do the scary and quite heavy stack of gold chains around the neck.

He should. 

It’s quite sexy and would show how tacky we really are.

He does wear rings.

No, not on every finger, just on his ring finger.

Which is not to be confused with the middle finger.

On a bling lovin scale of 1 – 10, I’d say Big T is a bling lover @ 6.5.

What was your most embarrassing moment in grade school?

Actually, this one was a buzz kill.

I was in 3rd or 4th grade and I had gotten a ‘D’ in some class.

Now I can’t even remember what class it was.

I was scared of my Dad and what he’d do.

So, I “accidentally” lost my grade card on the bus.

Shaaaa, right.

Anyway, the bus driver knew my Dad and thought he’d just bring it on over to the house.

Ooops.

Now, my Dad, he was mean as a two tailed rattler.

When he saw that.  I knew I was in BIG trouble.

Anyhoo.  He used to wear this leather belt that had his name etched into it.

I got the biggest ass bustin of my life, actually leg bustin… same thing… with THAT belt.

The embarrassing part was that he made me wear a skirt the next day.

Yep, I went to school with my dad’s name showing on the back of my leg just above my knee.

I never tried to hide bad grades again after that.

Sorry for the buzz kill.

 Junior high?

Heh.  This is rich.

Me & my little girl friends all thought we were THE shit.

So, we were sitting at my house on afternoon after school.

We were watching Duran Duran videos on MTV.

We were drinkin Neer Beer.

For you of the later generations. 

Neer Beer is non-alcoholic beer.

Recovering alchies and teenagers consumed this in the 80s.

Nasty.  But to a buch of 14 year old dumb-ass girls. It was the shit.

Well, my Mama came home early from work and we were busted.

When I think back, I can’t really figure out what we were busted for.

But I reckon the intent of drinkin was there and that just pissed her off.

So, she took to screamin and yellin and ran everybody off.

Then everybody at school heard what happened.

I played sick for a few days til it blew over.

I don’t know why I cared, but I did.

High school?

Hmmm, everything in high school was embarrassing wasn’t it??But, the thing that stands out most for me was an instance at volleyball practice.We pretty much got to wear what the hell ever we wanted too.Most of us wore bikini tops.That should be a clue.It was an all girl team, but we were practicing outside in the sand pit.

The guys used to come around to watch.

It was quite the show, I assure you.

We ate it up.

I went up for a block.

And OOOOOOPS, my boob pops out.

That was the last time I didn’t wear something over my bikini top.

You have one night where you can do anything you want without getting in trouble with anyone (and I do mean you can do anything you want), what do you do?

Girl, you wouldn’t believe how much I thought about this one.  But, sometimes it’s better to leave well enough alone.

Believe it or not, I wouldn’t get out and cause trouble or do anything that would end in my being pitched into the drunk tank.

If I could do anything I wanted one night…. 

I’d go home and pack an overnight bag.

I’d grab Big T and pitch him in the car.

We’d make a quick stop at the liquor store.

I’d drive him to some little dumpy roadside dive motel.

You know, the kind with the cheezy neon sign out front.

The kind with the funky heart shaped bed and 25 cent bed shaker massage.

We’d check in, mix a drink, relax & enjoy each other in the most obscene ways.

Perk:  No kids to bust in.

 ************************************************

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13 Responses to “Diva Gone Wild”

  1. I couldn’t read anything that followed that Chippendale’s picture. I support you.

  2. This is too much fun. A sand volleyball pit at the high school. I would have killed for one of those at our school. That would have made school worth attending! LOL

  3. I had a smiliar volleyball fiasco! hehe

  4. lol @ Mr T.

    I think 7 is a solid number on any kink scale. A little above the norm but not too far out. I feel that.

  5. Your site is lookin’ cool as hell!

    Near beer! ha ha ha ha You were just the punk weren’t you?!

    Believe me,I know all about the kids bustin in.They have seen some things a childs eyes should never see! Poor kids!

  6. mmm the closet full of shoes reminds me of ex#2..none left over when she see daddled all I was left with was some unmatched cutlery.. three empty shoe boxes and a broken can opener….:))))

  7. rantingdiva Says:

    Jess- Yes, my man, I groped a Chippendale.

    Jay- School in southern california is an animal of it’s own breed.

    Leighann- Did you do it on purpose too?

    Don- Anything more than a 7 is scary.

    PP- Grassyass, mi amiga. Rebel, yes. Bad girl, kinda.

    Robert- I left my ex less than that. =)

  8. Stilettoes are totally friggin sexy. and they aren’t THAT hard to walk in…. you just need some practice. I used to tip over in them…now I can run a marathon in them

  9. lol…thank u for answering the questions…n i knw the fine line too :)….

  10. Dam girl this is a long post. I got to the stillettos . I’m lazy. I will finish it though, when I’m super buzzed. Oh I put you on my blogroll too 🙂

  11. Hi there! Okay, I love your attitude!!!! Thanks for stopping by my blog and I’ll definitely be coming through again… !

    Mon

  12. rantingdiva Says:

    Meleah- I fear I’ll have to drop my dough-girl figure in order to wear stilettoes… wobbbly ain’t fun!!

    Mav- Thanks for the ??s!!

    Upset- Yah, got carried away

    Monica- Howdy! Thanks!

  13. […] We got snagged drinkin Near Beer. […]

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