Silk Scarves, Girls, & Jailbirds

Our dear girl at Preposterous Ponderings has asked quite the little plethora of questions all across the board.

 She says:

“Here are some questions for ya:

1.Are you into bondage?
2.Favorite color?
3.Have you ever got it on with a female?
4.Why did you start blogging?
5.Have you ever been arrested?

How’s that for a variety?!”

That’s variety alright!  Let’s dive right in.

********************************************************

Am I into bondage? 

Does a frog bump it’s ass when it jumps??  

Tie me up to the bed posts, slap a blindfold on  and go all 9 1/2 Weeks on my ass. 

Now I’m not into being hogtied or anything like that.

But some well placed long scarves or soft leather wrist and ankle things are pretty sweet.

What’s my favorite color?

My favorite color socks are black.

My favorite color popcicle is yellow for bananas.

My favorite color car is  silver.

My favorite hair color is blonde (today anyway).

My favorite color jolly rancher is the bright pink for watermelon.

My favorite color during football season is ORANGE!!  GO VOLS!

Have I ever got it on with a female?

The short answer is yah, I’ve dabbled in the minors, but obviously never went pro.

I love men.  Always have since the first time I laid eyes on Billy back in 4th grade.

I love women.  Didn’t figure that one out so early on though.

It’s just one of those things that defines who you are.

Straight, gay/lesbian, or bi-sexual.   Everybody is one or the other.

I’m bi-sexual.  I know how to enjoy either a man or a woman.

Big T knows.   I was totally honest with him.

He doesn’t pry and he doesn’t push.  He just lets it be what it is.

Why did I start blogging?

My blogging adventure started in an effor to address a bullshit hateful blurb that a skank I knew wrote on her MySpace early last year. 

It was a myspace thing.  I knew she’d see it.

As I’m a total attention whore, my nipples got hard when people read it and commented on it. 

A few things changed.  I don’t blog on myspace anymore and I generally don’t use my posts as a “fuck you” to call anybody out publicly.

But she pissed me off. 

The bitch.  I hope she’s miserable in her single wide with her case of beer and boat that don’t float.

 

Sorry.  Flashbacks and anger…  WoooooooSaaaaaahhhhhhhhh…

Have I Ever Been Arrested?

Would you believe me if I told you no?

Didn’t think so.

I’ve been pitched in the clink a few times. 

Always over stupid shit. 

First time.  I bounced a $12 check at Wal-Mart (honest mistake) for dog food and Charmin.

Nobody from Wal-Mart contacted me, they took a warrant out, and they came and picked me up.  Off I went.  Cuffed & printed. 

Bastards. 

Second time was my fault though. 

I had gotten a speeding ticket and seatbelt ticket, and thought they had been fixed cuz I knew this trooper’s daddy, who was also a trooper.

I ran and told his daddy that he had written me. 

Turns out he fixed the one for speeding, but missed the one for the seatbelt.

My license had gotten suspended.

I got pulled over on my way to the mountains for a day of fun and excitement (rolls eyes).

They ran it, it was suspended, I went to jail.

Fuck.

Since I lost my get outta jail free card that had been in my purse, I was screwed.

That one cost me a pretty penny to get out of.

In the end the judge was cool. 

He told me to “live long and prosper, young lady.”

Shaaa, right.  I gotta go.

Advertisements

13 Responses to “Silk Scarves, Girls, & Jailbirds”

  1. Bounced a $12 check for dog food and Charmin and you get put in jail. Holy crap.

    I bet Billy The Kidd is rolling over in his grave on that one.

  2. Life Lesson #347: Don’t fuck with WalMart making $12!

  3. “Bad girls bad girls, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when they come for you.”

    Wow, I didn’t know you were such a rebel! Did I see you once on an episode of Cops? 😉

  4. Agree on the fuck with Walmart…seeing a frog bumps his ass when he jumps enough said..I will now have all kinds of fantasies when I come over here…Whoohoo..you rock girl..:)))

  5. lol…nice one…especially the jail one…ha ha…btw happy valentines day to u gorgeous 🙂

  6. I will only say one thing, because God knows someone who reads my sweet blog would probably have the goods on me and fuck me royal BUT, you and I have loads in common….. In more ways than one…. Hugs, J

  7. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm! Banana popsicles!!!!

    Wal*Fart is the antichrist.

  8. You are an interesting woman…LOVE IT!

    Happy Valentine’s Day!

  9. Damn, I think I need to switch to WordPress. The layout is the truth.

    Enjoyed the post. Interesting read. I guess I love to read the real and genuine blog post. You accomplished that.

    Would you believe me if I told you no?

    Didn’t think so.

    LOL.

    Happy Valentines Day. Enjoy.

  10. Damn girl….you was one bad girl alright.

    But it must be a sickness. Especially that Orange color shit during Football season. I mean, seriously…orange?

    That’s so dorkish.

  11. Nice to see Barney Fife threw you in jail over a $12 check.

  12. Walmart bites ass! Like they couldn’t live without that $12.Bastards!

    Thanks for answering my questions girlfriend! Quite interesting I must say. he he

    Happy Valentine’s Day!

  13. rantingdiva Says:

    Mike- I’s an outlaw dontcha know???

    Leighann- Yah, well, WalMart is the a tool of satan himself and needs to have $$ to dominate the world.

    Chuck- Not me, pal. My days of pillaging are over.

    Robert- Awesome!!

    Mav- Not so proud about the jail thing, but it’s funny as hell nowdays.

    SQD- Girls gone wild?

    BuzzBilly- Well said, sister.

    Lovebabz- Why thank you!

    Don- It’s pretty cool being an open book.

    Slick- Bad, bad boy. I’m telling Chuck you said that!

    Jay- I was sad. The clink wasn’t a nice place at all.

    PP- I would’ve paid them the fees and all if somebody would have just told me, the fuckers.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: