A Blind Date, Lack o’ Nookie & The Spin Cycle

Ok, I super suck to begin with. 
That’s why Blogger was appealing.
But Blogger kept eating my well thought out and extremely witty shit.
WordPress takes some know-how.
 I ain’t gots none of that.
I’m as PC/net savvy as my 80 year old granny.
But, I’ve decided even if I have a boring page, at least my posts won’t get sucked up and thrown to the friggin wind.
So, if you will, please bear with me while I change up.
If anybody knows any damn thing that can help me with this crap, feel free to shout.
I’m working on my blogroll. 
Even that’s proving to be a MEGA bitch.
*****************************************************

I asked my friends here on Blogger’s Lane to stimulate me…

Not like that, you pervie. But to hit me with some questions that would make me think.

Come to find out, most of you are truly perverted, warped people.

Just like me.

So, first in line was Leighann, the beautiful vixen at Pessimists Need Love Too, my good friend from down the block who just loves to post naughty pictures and what not. My goodness.

She says, “Well hot damn dog, I loves to ask me some questions that are none of my business!

Here goes!”

1. How did you meet Big T?

Oddly enough, Big T and me were set up by our best friends. Big T & Mario have worked together for nealy 12 years. So, Mario decided to pull a cupid on us.

At the time, Big T lived about an hour north of where I did and was uber resistant and reluctant to get into something where he’d have deal with any crap from anybody….

Mario kept trying for 5 months to get Big T to come down from BFE to meet a Diva.

Finally after that long, I told Mario I never wanted to hear any mention of Big T’s name and that he could tell Big T that he’d really fucked up by not coming down and that I wasn’t just sitting around waiting on him.

Mario went to Big T the next day at work and told him what I’d said. That I really wasn’t sitting around waiting for him and that it wasn’t likely that I’d have any interest in somebody who dicks around and procrastinates.

He called that night. Wednesday, September 13th.
His ass was down that Friday.

And to think the poor fella didn’t want to deal with anybody and their shit.
I’m queen of creating drama and stirring shit.

Poor guy.

2. How often do ya’ll get-it-on?

I knew somebody would ask that question. I just did.

And I am ready with my well thought out response.

NOT FUCKING ENOUGH!

How’s that for brutally honest?

I love Big T with all my heart and I know the man loves me more than a fat kid loves donuts, so I try not to let that LITTLE fact annoy me.

3. Is there anything (sexual) you WOULD not do for him?

Oh hell no. I’m all about some wild monkey lovin. The kind you get all contorted and hang upside down off the bed and pull sheets off in an effort to hold on.

So, Leighann, thanks for bringing the naughty thoughts.

 I’m gonna go try to get Big T to gimme some…

If that doesn’t work, I’m gonna do one or more of the following:

(A) I’m gonna put the washing machine on the spin cycle double time.

 (B) Sit and watch mega porn in the dark and pout.

 (C) Scarf down a shit pot of chocolates.

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17 Responses to “A Blind Date, Lack o’ Nookie & The Spin Cycle”

  1. I found you! I kept clicking on your blogger post to make a comment and all I got for my trouble was an error page!

    Anywhoodle, yeah baby, feed my need for sexual information!

  2. shit pot of chocolates??? I want in….
    I like your story. That “one” phone call sure had a major effect on yout life.

    WordPress I see. You have blogs on Typepad too?

  3. Okay, I found ya and fixed my blogroll…now fix yours!

    See ya!

  4. I have been thinking about moving to wordpress myself.Don’t know when and if I’ll make the plunge.

  5. I ran into that error page this morning and wondered what was up. I have trouble with all the blog sites, but blogger is the worst.

  6. Whew!! I found you! Hmm..Chocolates and the spin cycle could be fun!

  7. Hahahaha I found you….. Yayyyyy

  8. Blow in my ear and I’ll follow you anywhere…:))))

  9. monkey lovin?…Gawd I love that….

  10. I made it!
    I have been looking in my reflection here on the screen.
    I know this will be tough to imagine but I believe I look better on word press.
    I’m just sayin.

    Spin cycle huh??
    hmmmmmmmmm

  11. I have a word press blog all set up, but just haven’t made the move. Blogger pisses me off from time to time but after spending some time over at the word press blog, I make up with blogger and come crawling back.

  12. Monkey lovin’ doesn’t really mean sex with monkeys, does it?

  13. rantingdiva Says:

    Leighann- You perv.

    Speedcat- Chololate truffels make it all worth whiile. I’ve never even heard of Typepad… I’m an internetz retard.

    Mushy- Swear I think its fixed. xoxo

    PP- After trial and error and ongoing learning, I think I’m gonna like it better than Blogger.

    SQD- Hi mamas!! I wasn’t trying to hide. I just suck!

    Granny- Spin cycle excitement at its finest!

    Jay- You, my man, are 100% correct. 100 points for you.

    Robert- Come here, big boy!

    Bossy- Life is all about monkey lovin. What else is there really?

    Sage- You look good anywhere, brother.

    Mike- Just do it! It’s not that bad!!

    Fabbbbo- I reckon it depends on how much hair is on the butt and chest of the fella in question, eh?

  14. I like your new place here. How’d you get all your old posts transfered over? Was it hard? I’ve been thinking of moving myself.

    So, there’s nothing sexual you wouldn’t do? Wow, you’re a good woman! I wish I could get my wife to tongue my asshole…

  15. Honey, I’ve been toying with leaving blogger myself. Seeing you leave makes me want to jump shit. Perhaps I’ll do it.

    As far as the ‘How often do you get it on’ question… Reading you LOUD AND CLEAR. Sweet mother of god, my night shift schedule and his day schedule means SCHEDULED sex on Sundays. Oh, HELL no… mama needs more lovin’ than that. I sympathize.

    Good luck working out your glitches with WordPress. Let me know if you think I should jump ship.

  16. So glad to see you’ve moved and are alright. I was beginning to wonder what the heck happened on the Friday you were thanking god for last. Updating my blog roll now 🙂

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