Little Man, State Troopers & PeePee

Right….  so, here I am…. today.

I’m absolutely exhausted…. Waaaaa.  Poor, poor me, eh?

No more whining.  Swear.

Just got back from a quickie run to Asheville, NC.  Lovely little city, what I saw of it anyway. 

Left the house at 5:00am, got there at 7:00, worked until 2:45, drove home… now I’m indulging in a nice cold beverage. 

This was not exactly my most shining and happy roadtrip to date. 

That said, it’ll go down as one of the most memorable.

I almost took out a little car while changing lanes whilst trying to  make my way back to the interstate and found out exactly what road rage can be. 

This little dude, and when I say little, I mean 4ft2 would be me being generous…  he followed me all the way OUT OF ASHEVILLE to the exit I stopped at for petrol.

I mean, I got the message loud and totally clear when he whipped it around me blowing his little bitty horn and slingin the finger all over the place.

Was that enough for him??

Why, no.  As a matter of fact it wasn’t.

Anyway, he jumps out of his car yelling and screaming about women drivers.    (Oh, hell no..)  But, he did.

And then goes on to tell me, that not only are women bad drivers, that women shouldn’t be allowed to drive big trucks (Oh, hell no he didn’t).  But, he did.

I just stood there, staring past him, at his little Rabbit car.  Then gave him a good luck from toe to the top of his head, and snickered.

I wanted to tell him that at least he bought a car for a man of his size, but he needs to remember that he shouldn’t ride in folks blind spot… especially if he doesn’t want some hateful bitch in a big black truck to run his punk ass off the road. 

But, I didn’t.  I refrained.

I just snickered a little and apologized (which after his bullshit, was totally insincere). 

Which turned out to be good enough to insult him.  Because he got  back into his little putter car and went away without saying another word.

Then, crossing back into the great state of Tennessee, I blew past a trooper.  Ooops.

At least I was holding the wheel at 10 and 2, wearing my seatbelt, and wasn’t on the phone or anything which would have really pissed him off.

My lucky day…. until about 50 miles from home I was dying.

God, I had to pee.  Like my eyeballs were floating from that mambo sized 44 ounce Diet Coke with crushed ice that I just had to suck down….

Then I sneezed.  And I pee’d a little in my pants.

I know.  TMI.

Haven’t you ever done that?

So, in short.  My cup runneth over with my to-do list, but I acquired a new laptop so with any luck, I should be at least a little more frequent in keep up with all of ya!

Cheerio kiddies!