Poopie Diapers, Baby Barf & Formula

An open letter to the stupid little girls at Gloucester High School in Gloucester, Mass.

Dear Soon-to-be Teenage Moms of Gloucester High,

Question.  Have you lost your ever loving little minds?

Question.  What the fuck were you thinking making a pregnancy pact?

Question.  Did you even consider for one second what this will do to the rest of your family?

Seriously. 

It’s not cute.  It’s the absolute stupidest thing I have ever in my life heard.

Being pregnant is only the beginning of this.  Sure, you’ll all wear maternity clothes and think you’re so cute.

Then there’s labor.  Have fun with that. 

Do you realize what happens when you give birth?

Not only does an object as big as a bowling ball come out your va-jay-jay, no.

Then the fun starts, ladies. 

Yes, oh, yes.  Fun, fun, fun.

Trust me here.  I became a lovely teen mom at the ripe old age of 15.

So, this is experience talking.

How do you plan to pay for formula, diapers, A & D ointment, bottles, wipes, clothes… all the things your child will need?

Do you plan to finish school or be drop-outs and go on welfare so that all of you can just sit at the park and let your little dirt monkies run around wild while you collect a check and the rest of us pay for them?

Do you really expect this to be a great time?  There will be snotty noses, sleepless nights, shitty diapers, uncontolled crying fits… and that’s just when they are little.

Then they grow up to be intellegent like you and they sass, backtalk, get on drugs, get pregnant.

Want to go out with your friends? Good luck with that.  You have a kid now.

Just because people like Jamie Lynn Spears did it??  At least she has the money to pay for a nanny.

It’s not like in the movies. 

A young girl I know just had a baby, luckily she graduated first.  She’s 17.

Did she think her life was going to change?   Not so much.   Did it change?  Oh hell yes it did.

She can’t just pick up and go to the amusement or water park anymore.

She can’t just go to the movies anymore.

Not only do you have to find a babysitter, but you also have to have the money.

Her money is now spent on diapers and clothes and formula.

Unfortunately, your school is not the only school playing this little game.

It’s an epidemic of sorts.

The above mentioned young lady, she said that it happened at her school too.   My old school.  22 pregnancies in one year.

I wish you all the best in your life.  I hope you don’t drop out, and I hope you are able to make something of yourself.

Me, I struggled to raise my daughter.  I didn’t have a social life.    I was 30 years old before I was able to enroll in college and finish.

Life isn’t over, girls, but it’s gonna be a long row to hoe.