Fake Sun, Fat Rolls, Knee Slappin Funny (HNT)

Well I’ve never… Been the Barbie Doll type….

Yah, yah, yah…. it’s true. I’m a full-figured, plus sized, curvified mama.

This fact doesn’t bother me so much really. I’m hot for a curvy beyyyach!

I mean, I’d like to get back down to a smaller size, but I have no great ambition to become a size 2 cupie doll.

No. Those days have long passed my big ass by. 2 kids and Taco Bell… a snowballs chance in hell of being Barbie in this lifetime.

Which brings me to my thoughts for the day….

I absolutely love when somebody says something stupid.

People can really come off with utterly hilarious blurbs and not even know it.

In addition to amusing me greatly, it gives me something to blog about.

Seriously, kids, I don’t make this crap up. And boy, did this one amuse me…

Now I quote what I heard a chick say the other day:

“Tan fat is so much prettier than white fat.”

I literally did a double take at her standing next to me as I was checking into the tanning bed.

It took everything in me not to fall over in the floor and gut laugh. Well, because I’m a sarcastic bitch.

What?!?! Tan fat? Pretty?

Hello, sweetheart. I’m here tanning, too.

And I’ll be honest. I see nothing pretty about tan fat as opposed to white fat.

Trust me on this.

I’m a walking ad for Lane Bryant fashions for women, so don’t think I’m not saying something I wouldn’t follow myself.

But when I look in the mirror there is nothing that makes me think that if I go and get a tan on my fat rolls that it will look any better.

Seriously, if you are fat and you have fat rolls, say like a Shar Pei puppy, it doesn’t matter how tan it is.

Do you really think that having tan parts intermingled with the white fat rolls is pretty?

God bless the stand-up tanning bed, you can put your arms up in the air and alleviate those pesky white spots.

The only thing one can do to make ones fat rolls look prettier is cover them up with the proper clothing. I do.

And….. Happy Half Nekkid Thursday!!!!

16 Responses to “Fake Sun, Fat Rolls, Knee Slappin Funny (HNT)”

  1. Southern Sage Says:

    ok thaat aint funny
    where didja get a pic of ex-girlfriends?

  2. Curves are hot. Who wants one of those little stick figures who never eats anything good?

    Love that last pic. ;-)

  3. RockDog loves big women!

    I do think that a light tan is better than pasty white no matter what the size. You know, like “Computer Geek” White is not ever a good look on anyone. ;)

  4. Punch-Drunk Says:

    LOL – I have heard that too about the tan fat vs. white fat – cracks me up!! I have even heard it makes you look thinner if you tan – now that is just too much – LOL. Have a great day !! :O)

  5. love the last pic…mama mia….smookinggggggg!!!… i need air conditioning here!!!damn it!!

  6. It’s half-nekkid Thursday? Damn, I’m always behind in the game.

    Love your attitude!

  7. I’m all for a nice tan, someone needs to let my skin in on it though!

    I could slather myself with crisco and still wouldn’t tan!

    As a matter of fact, my ass glows in the dark, who needs a night light?

  8. Buzzardbilly Says:

    LMAO! I think the “tan fat looks better than white fat” woman totally missed the boat. Around here it’s “happy well-adjusted people look better than miserable dipshits regardless of size.”

    Great wedding pics in the post below too.

  9. Happy HNT and that was a great post.

  10. Lol, but it is, you didn’t know that?? j/p I think as long as you are comfortable, happy and healthy in your body, then it is perfect. I have a lot of “big” friends who can get it!

  11. Southern Sage Says:

    Oh yeah
    nice breasteses too
    real nice!

  12. nice boobs

  13. Sage- Those are the chix from the tanning salon.

    Jay- I loves curves too. Muy excelente.

    RockDog- Yah, pasty white is not sexy even on the godess type.

    Punchie- The things we say to justify things, huh?

    Mav- Box fan work?

    Terri- I only do HNT when I’m feelin froggy.

    Leighann- Girl, I used cooking oil once and passed out in the sun… can you say nuclear???

    Buzz- Yep, I’m happy with who I am and don’t mind flauntin it. LOL

    Mike- thanks!

    Ms. P- As long as a girl has self confidence she can pull off just about anything.

    Sage- Air conditioner, NOW!

    Lee- Ya like? LOL

  14. Good post! I had heard that before too! People are funny.

    All for the stand up beds… you can get rid of the smiley face on your booty easier. :)

    Bella

  15. Olga, the Traveling Bra Says:

    Looking GOOD Diva! And I’m SO glad to see you have a nice support system in place! ;)

  16. Bella- hahahahahaha, smiley face on the booty!!

    Olga- Your twin is my awesome support.

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